Love & War

Ch.16

"No Liv. Don't do that. Don't blame yourself. If you want somebody to blame. Blame me." I said as tears fell from my face because deep down I felt like I was responsible. "Had I kept my emotions under control? We wouldn't be in this mess.

"Spencer. My actions led to you doing things that I've never seen from you before. But lately, I don't even know who you are. Did you forgive me for my actions or were you just doing that to make yourself feel better?"

"I meant it Liv. When news broke out that I was going to miss the start of the season because of my injuries, I lashed out and took my anger out on you Liv. And I was wrong. I am so sorry that I said those things to you. I didn't see the bigger picture. These injuries were only temporary, not career-ending. I lost sight of who I was. I wasn't a husband or father, I was just thinking of myself as a football player. When I was in the waiting room at the hospital, I saw your family and I let them down. I broke my promise to them that I would love you for better or worse."

"I honestly thought that this was it. I couldn't give you what you wanted Spencer. And you're not happy, neither am I. I can't keep doing this anymore."

"No Liv. Please. You were there for me in more ways than one. I don't want to lose you. I want to save our marriage. And you're still here. I want to be here with you. No matter how long it takes, I will fight for you Liv."

"Don't keep promises you can't keep Spencer."

"I'm not breaking this one. I'll prove myself every day until you can believe me. You know I would do anything for you and our family?"

"Yeah. I do. Speaking of family, where are the girls?"

"They're at my Mom's house? Asked her to keep them overnight. I wanted to have this conversation with you Liv."

"Well thank you for being honest with me. Can you please do me a favor?"

"Anything. Can you pick some ice cream for me? Since we got the place to ourselves, maybe we can watch dumb movies and eat ice cream?"

I smiled. "Of course. Nothing makes me happier than to spend quality time with anyone else other than my wife. I'll be right back. I love you" I said and kissed her goodbye.
------------------------------------------------------
Olivia's P.O.V. TW: (Suicidal Thoughts/Alcohol and Drug Usage)

I wanna believe Spencer that he'll change and do better in our marriage. I really do. But we can't seem to catch a break. Losing this baby has caused me so much pain and I just want it to go away.

I went downstairs to the kitchen, reached into the back of the cabinet, and pulled out a large bottle of vodka. I really shouldn't be doing this, but I just the pain to stop. Part of me believes that everyone would be better off without me. I practically broke up my family.

I opened the bottle and the smell of vodka was an addiction that I couldn't resist. Without hesitation, I started taking large gulps of vodka. Unfortunately, that didn't do the trick, so I decided to take it to a whole other level. I went to the cabinet in the kitchen and took some pills and hosed it down with the vodka. To be honest, I didn't care about my recovery, because to be honest, this is impossible to recover from.

I'm sorry Spencer. I'm sorry I couldn't be the wife you deserved. I hope you find the happiness you deserve from someone else. I will always love you Spencer James, but I have to let you go.
------------------------------------------------------
Spencer's P.O.V.

A Few Hours Later....

I walked back into the house and I returned to the store. I got a half-gallon of ice cream and I couldn't wait to spend the rest of the night with my lovely wife.

"Hey, Liv. I'm back. I got the ice cream here." I said as I walked upstairs. "You ready for movie night?" I asked, but still no response.

"Olivia?" I checked the bathroom, office, and other rooms upstairs, and still nothing.

"Olivia, where are you?"

I walked downstairs into the kitchen hoping I would get a response from Liv.

"Hey Liv are you-" I was instantly cut off and dropped the bag containing the ice cream as I saw Liv on the floor unconscious with an empty bottle of vodka in her hand along with pills scattered all over the floor.

"Oh my God. Olivia?!?!" I rushed to her as I tried to wake her but to no prevail. I dialed 911 as fast as I could.

"911, what's your emergency?"

"Help please, my wife is unconscious and I need help now!" I told the 911 operator and luckily in a few minutes, the ambulance arrived at my house and took her in the ambulance.

"I'm right here Olivia. Please just stay with me Liv."

We arrived at the hospital and followed Liv inside to the ER.

Then as we got close to one of the ER rooms, one of the doctors stopped me. "I'm sorry Mr. James, but this is as far as you can go."

"What? No! I can't leave my wife. Let me go now!"

"Spencer, we both want the same thing, but for that to happen, you have to stand back and let us do our job."

I stepped back and waited in the waiting room praying that my wife was going to be ok.

To Be Continued....
------------------------------------------------------
From losing a child to relapsing, that is what Liv has gone through. Hopefully, she'll make it on the way to the hospital. Spencer was finally honest with himself and to Liv, but was it too little too late? Find out in the next chapter. I understand some serious/sensitive topics in this chapter may have been disturbing to read, but this is the only chapter with this kind of content. There will still be some more angst in the remainder of the story, but not as extreme as this. Please excuse any mistakes or grammar errors.