Right Back After This

Episode 7

They stare at each other from across the gulf. When Riz holds his hand up to measure, Kiel is smaller than his index finger. He never had a proper education, so the number of metres Paloma's faux-nice voice says over the intercom doesn't mean anything to him. He can see, however, that the bar they have to walk across is thin, and would be difficult to cross quickly even if it didn't have turns and gaps.

The complication is, of course, the blindfold that Riz is holding in his hand, as well as the pool that will catch them when they fall. Riz is considering the water below, contemplating how he's going to make peace with entering it. He can handle water a lot better than he used to- but usually the way he grounds himself is by opening his eyes and knowing it's clean, safe, that he chose to be here. It's not a choking swamp he's pretending to be dead in, not a place that'll give him a near-fatal infection in his already near-fatal shrapnel wounds.

Somewhere, there's a list of phobias he has. Fans think it's excessive, and he's lucky that they think it's cute. Deep water is on there. He raises the blindfold up.

"...fastest to swap places, wins," Paloma says, finishing off a rules summary that Riz wasn't listening to. He heard the bit about not being allowed to touch the bar unless you wore the blindfold, that touching the water meant restarting- which he figured was the general gist. She'd listed off a few things they couldn't do, which boiled down to "no cheating". The idea was that they'd have to be lead across by the other's instructions, and Riz is already not enjoying himself, just on principal alone. Unluckily for him, it doesn't matter how he feels about it.

"Are you ready?" she calls over the intercom. Riz tries to steady the vertigo he gets from looking down. When he glances at Kiel, Kiel does not break eye contact- not until the blindfold covers Riz's sight, and there's darkness again.

She counts down, and Riz has a moment to decide.

They've put a fear of his- no, not a fear, a trigger of his- in front of him. Riz doesn't want to approach this; he's terrified and this game doesn't fucking matter, but now that he's been around this bend a few times, he knows what'll happen. He'll be shown moving slowly, pussyfooting around, crying out to Kiel about how he's trying and he'll get there. He'll look weak and cowardly to some- to the fans of Kiel, who will lament how their favourite got stuck with such an idiot. To his own fans, they'll mostly see him as sweet and still spoilt. Maybe the superfans who know as much of his history as they can know will pity him. It's funny, that, how the people that breathe down his neck the most might be the only ones with some compassion.

He could play the role. That's what they want him to do, because it ties into everything that fans don't know about him- that most of corporate don't know themselves.

He reaches out, like Kiel is just an arm's length away. As Paloma hits one, and the shouting starts, Riz calls out across the gulf, "I'm trusting you!", because in that moment he decides not to play the role they expect him to play.

Fuck it. Let this matter to him like nothing else has, because rebelling against the algorithm is all he can do.

"Forward!" Kiel yells out. The problem might be picking his voice out of the din of similar shouting. Carefully, faster than he wants to, Riz slides a foot along the bar.

He's hearing yelling, feet slamming into metal- and the splash of a body hitting water. He doesn't want to take another step forward.

"Forward for a bit." Kiel's voice is losing the growl it almost always contains. "Just- you've got to move!"

Riz dips his foot down, like a dancer, feeling along with the side of his foot, as Kiel is saying, "left, left, left!"

Riz can imagine how the path must go, feels it out. Someone else splashes. He doubts he's winning. He doubts the race is even fair; but as Kiel calls out a sharp right turn, Riz pretends it's helping, pretends it isn't just about feeling the bar in front of him- likely far slower than everyone else.