Catching Feelings- Leah Williamson

Chapter Forty-One

I roll my eyes, telling myself that I couldn't care less and trying to remind myself of Beth's words.

'Stay out of it'

I grip on the door knob, ready to get inside, but my feet wont move. They refuse to. Instead, I'm left standing there, looking at them like a creep. I watch them talk, Katie smiling like an idiot the entire time and I contemplate eavesdropping on their conversation but I decide against it, almost laughing at myself.

How low can I seriously go?

But if anything, the sight in front of me only proves hat I had already been speculating. Is everyone else blind or what? How come im the only one who see's this sort of... tension going on between them? Its obvious in Katie's body language, that there's more than just a team mates type of relationship going on between them.

Katie then leans forward, gently pressing her lips on Hailey's forehead.

See what I mean? Beth and I are team mates but you don't see us giving each other forehead kisses in private.

The way her lips linger on Hailey a bit too long makes me feel as if an electric shock is running throughout me. I can feel my body heat up and all sorts of feelings take place inside of my chest. Anger, disappointment, hurt. What is it? I cant seem to figure it out.

Why would I feel hurt or angry because of this? Its absurd. Its disgusting. Yeah that sounds more like it. This entire situation is disgusting and way beyond friendly or professional.

Katie pulls back, leaving me a with a full view of Hailey. I watch her, trying not to get lost in her features and decipher her feelings when it comes to the kiss. She stands there, looking at Katie with her lips slightly parted, looking a bit conflicted, taken aback by Katies actions, before she switches her gaze from her to...

Me.

Our eyes lock. Her ocean blue eyes staring back at me. And there goes it again... that burning sensation I get whenever we cross paths on the pitch, or when I steal glances at her when no ones looking. One look from her has m feeling weak, vulnerable, distracted. And I hate it. I hate how she makes me feel.

I force my head away, opening the door and walking inside. I drop all my things on the bed while I sit on it. MY elbows on my knees, I run a hand through my hair, frustrated.

I cant keep acting like this... feeling like this.

It will do me no good.

I immediately get up, walking over to the study table, opening the small compartments in search of paper and a pen. Once I find it, I take a seat, aiming the pen on the white paper in front of me.

I grip the pen, rubbing my forehead, thinking.

Am I making a mistake?

I get up from my seat, walking over to my bed again, the events of today all creeping up on me. Im overwhelmed, I should think better before I do anything irrational. I harshly exhale, thinking about Katie's hands on her... her lips on her...

Her. Her. Her.

I retake my seat again, my hand that's holding the pen starting to write before my mind can think better of it. Or maybe im not thinking at all. And I write about everything.

I lay the white envelope in the middle of the taAnd ble, and I sit here, thinking, a thousand thoughts jumping through the walls of my head.

This is not like me. I would never do something like this, so why am I practically holding the means to potentially end her career in my hand right now? I cant believe I gave into one of my weak moments. What am I thinking? Addressing it and everything like I'm ever going to send it.