9. New Years

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"Where the fuck is he?"

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"Where the fuck is he?"

Beans looks up at me and meows. I almost think he's trying to answer me, but then he walks over to his food dish and sits down. Right. To Bean's, it's always a quarter past 'feed the cat' time.

"Charlie said he'd pick me up at nine." I continue talking to Beans as I fill up his empty dish. "It's nine thirty-two. What's taking him so long?"

"He'll be here any minute. I'm sure," Pheobe says, coming out of her bedroom and slipping into her heels. "But you're also still welcome to come out with Mattie and me to the club."

"No thanks," I grumble. I still haven't quite forgiven Pheobe for sleeping with Derek, and I certainly don't want to be a third wheel with her tonight.

On the way home from the game, I started regretting saying yes to doing something with Charlie on New Year's. He leaned in to kiss me good night when he dropped me off, but I stopped him. Crap. I feel as changeable and vacillating as the spring weather in Ontario—warming up one minute and freezing up again the next. There are all these moments with him when my body is screaming yes, yes, yes, but my head is still telling me no, no, no.

Yesterday, I ripped everything out of my closet looking for something that said: I'm the dress you wear out on New Year's with a guy you can't decide if you want to like yet or not. I want it to make me look good without making me look too good, you know? But I couldn't find anything, so I went out shopping and ended up getting this sparkly, form-flattering, midnight blue knee-length dress with slits up both sides. But looking in the mirror by the door again, I start to question if I've overdone it. 

Pheobe comes beside me and pops open a dark shade of red lipstick. "You look great. Stop worrying."

"Charlie said to dress up, but he's keeping where we are going a surprise. I hate that."

"Oh really? I love surprises!"

"You would. For you, getting a UPS delivery is less about opening your package and more about seeing what his looks like. Anyway, I hope it's nowhere crowded."

A loud knock at the door makes us both jump. "I'll get it," I cry, lunging for the door. But as I pull back the handle, it's a redheaded man on my doorstep.

"Mattie!" Pheobe cheers, grabbing her purse. "Have a good night, Leigh. Happy New Year's Eve."

The door closes with a bang, and I'm all alone—except for my cats. Sitting down on the sofa next to Inky and Onyx with a huff, I finally break down and text him.

Me: Charlie, where are you?

I give Inky some pets, and Onxy comes to get some love, too. My stress level starts to lower, and after only a minute, my phone dings in my hand.

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