I wiped the sweat off my forehead using the back of my hand. I tied my hair into messy bun, the wind blew, and that's when I feel like being embrace by the wind after some time of not feeling it. I sat on the chair not far from where the other contestants are for the upcoming pageant. I looked down at my feet that are now pinkish because of the heels I am wearing.
Kaya ko ba?
Parang ngayon lang nag sink-in sa akin ang pinasok ko. Well, hindi ko naman talaga ‘to ginusto. Tatanggapin ko na lang ang magiging resulta ng pageant, sana lang ay gano’n rin ang mga kaklase ko, kapag sinisi nila ako, siguro naman ay sapat na ang heels na isusuot ko sa pageant na pang-sampal sa kanila… lalo na kay Shaina.
Kidding.
Though, I will really do it kapag pina-mukha nilang kasalanan ko, eh, unang-una sa lahat sila ang nag desisyon na isali ako dito… hindi man lang hiningi ang permiso ko. Not that I will agree kahit pa humingi sila ng permiso. Mga pala-desisyon lang, eh.
“Water?”
Napa-angat ang tingin ko sa taong naglahad ng naka-bukas ng aqua flask. Tinanggap ko iyon dahil kanina pa ako nauuhaw. Habang umiinom ng tubig ay hindi ko maiwasan mapa-tingin sa labas ng naka-bukas na pinto ng auditorium. May pasok pa rin naman pero excuse kami para sa pag pa-practice para sa pageant.
“I’m hungry na,” ngumuso ako kay Zach habang hinihimas ang tiyan kong kanina pa tumutunog.
Ginulo niya ang buhok ko at umupo sa tabi ko. Saka niya binuksan ang paper bag na dala. May isang lunch box do’n at isang tupperware na may laman na sliced apple and kiwi. He opened the lunch box for me at parang mas lalo lang akong nagutom ng makita ang laman no’n. Rice with pork adobo.
“Sa sobrang pagmamadali mo kanina nakalimutan mong dalhin.”
Right. I was already here at six in the morning because that’s the call time for this practice. As much as I don't like being here, I don't want to be a burden to other's and waste the time that should’ve been wasted for the practice. Besides, my parents raised me not to waste anyone's time.
Mas mabuti nang maging maaga kaysa maging late. This is something some people failed to do, though.
Kinuha ko na ang kubyertos sa lalagyan at sinimulang kumain. Nangangalahati na ako sa pagkain nang mapansin kong bored lang nakatingin si Zach sa harapan.
“Kumain kana?”
Lumingon siya sa akin at bahagyang tumango, “Yeah,”
“How about them?” Tanong kong tinutukoy ang mga kaibigan namin.
“Currently eating now, maybe.” He shrugged his shoulder. “Hindi ko na pinasama dito dahil hindi rin naman nagpapa-pasok ng marami do’n” nginuso niya ang nakasarado na ngayong pinto ng auditorium.
Walang nagbabantay do’n pero nakita ko ang coordinator, teacher, at ang nag pa-practice sa amin na salitan kung makatingin sa pinto. Para bang binabantayan talaga kung sino ang papasok at hindi papatuluyin dito kung sino man iyon.
Ang higpit nila.
Tumango na lang ako kay Zach at nagpatuloy sa pagkain. I was busy chewing the last slice of my apple when the door opened. The three adults looked alarmed and ready to throw whoever the person is but immediately calmed down when…
My eyes grew as I looked at the man who just entered. I heard Zach heaved a deep breath.
“Gavin!”
Ngumiti ang lalaki bago sinuyod ng tingin ang kabuuan ng auditorium. My heart skipped a beat when our eyes met… but then it traveled to the one beside me. Bahagyang nawala ang ngiti niya pero bumalik din ng mapatingin sa akin. Then he looked at the paper bag his holding.
“Oh, Gavin. Sola’s here!” sabi ng teacher sa excited na boses.
Napatingin doon ang lalaki ang ngumiti ulit. Naglakad din siya papalapit sa kung nasaan ang teacher at si Sola. Sola smiled widely but then I think she noticed something on Gavin’s expression because she tilted her head a bit and looked at where I was.
She nodded as if she understands something. My forehead creased. What's with them? Halo-halo ang reaction ng mga nandito sa loob ng auditorium, most especially the other contestants. If the three adults looks like kinikilig for Gavin’s sudden visit. The other contestants groaned and whispered something to the one sitting beside them.
Meron din namang mga contestants na gaya nung tatlong adults ay kinikilig lalo na ng may binulong ang babae kay Gavin reason kung bakit kumuha ng upuan ang lalaki at paupuin doon si Sola. Kanina nang makarating ako dito ay nalaman ko na kasali din pala ang babae. She greeted me and I do the same. I don't want to be rude.
Gavin gave the paper bag to Sola as he sat on his feet and removed Sola’s heels. He then massaged it Sola is getting the things inside the paper bag. She laughed when she get the tupperware out.
“I told you I already ate!” I heard her say. Ngumiti lang si Gavin at umiling.
I heard Zach scoffed. Lumingon ako sa kaniya pero ang nakakalokong ngisi niya ang nakita ko. Nakatuon ang mata niya sa dalawa.
“Zach…”
Sa paglingon niya sa akin ay nagbago ang ekspresyon ng mga mata niya. He’s softly looking at me now. Umiling siya at ngumiti.
“Are you done?”
“Why are—”
He cut me off, “It’s nothing, Zeph. Are you done?” Pag-uulit niya sa naunang tanong.
Wala sa sarili akong tumango. He nodded too and put the empty lunch box and tupperware inside the paper bag. Hindi ko na lang siya pinansin. Tumuon ang tingin ko sa harap at nakitang busy na sa pag-uusap ang dalawa pero ang tingin ni Gavin ay nasa amin… he tore his eyes off us when he noticed I was looking at them… him, too.
Seeing him conversing with Sola like that makes me feel envious of her. Well, the first time I knew how close they are to each other was the very first time I feel envious of someone. Though, I admit that when I was younger and Dad wasn't yet with us I feel envious with other kids my age. It hurts seeing them happily playing with their Dad’s while Zach and me only has our Tito’s.
But then, when Dad came, and showered us everything he can give the envious was nowhere to be found in my heart. I felt so full of love that I didn't even think of being envious. As much as I want to get Gavin’s attention back then, I didn't. I understand what they have… even tough, they keep on denying that allegations.
Still, my mother didn't raised me to chase someone. She had done that to Dad… and maybe it was worth it because no matter how their love hurt them… they are still together. They are still loving each other so much. The pain they felt, the sacrifices, the long time of them being not together was all worth it, because now, they are stronger. Their relationship is stronger.
However, Mommy doesn't want me to go through what she had experience. That's why I wont chase him… given the circumstances too. I don't know where this feeling would lead me but I had long accepted this.
Napatingin ulit ako sa kanila. I can still hear the murmurs of other contestants. Mapait akong napangiti because I was just like them too. Admiring someone who I know can't be mine, however, I will never be like them who bad mouth or backstab the girl who my crush likes.
It will hurt me but I will be happy. Because that's how someone should admire. Be happy for that person whoever they will like. It will hurt you, yes, but then nothing compares to the pain you’ll feel for seeing them with someone if they are miserable.
If they are lost, and you’re not the one who they are wishing to be with. That's what hurts the most.
Napatingin ulit ako sa harapan. I am happy whenever he is happy. I can forget this pain if that means seeing him this happy.
♡
YOU ARE READING
Making You Mine (SHS Series 1)
Teen FictionStudious, responsible, academic achiever, and a president of the SSCG. Gavin has already planned everything in his future-from the course he'll take to where he will study. Everything is going to what he plans; especially, in his Senior High. But, t...
