Forever Yours (GirlxGirl)

Chapter 17- The Truth Is Hard To Understand

I touched my cheek shocked, she just hit me, she's never hit me before. I stood there as a tear escaped my eyes, watching as my mothers eyes went from angry, to now sad and regretful. She tried to reach out for my cheek, but I stopped her and shook me head. Turning around and running to my room before she could say anything more to me.

I can't believe what's just happened...ok maybe I deserved it, I went too far, but she's never hit me before, not ever. I went too far, but it was true, everything I had said was true, and I wasn't going to stand there and take all of this bull anymore. I have had enough of feeling pain, watching my mum slowly die because of the problem she has. I may have hurt her feelings, but it was the only way she was going to see sense, the only way she could ever move on from the past. My mother still loves my dad, she won't admit it, but I can see it in her eyes every time he comes down, she even dresses up nice and wears make up before he comes, which is rare for my mum. I opened my bedroom door and closed it, turning around to face my room and then sliding down my door, feeling my cheek as it stung slightly.

Today was hectic, I've had worse days believe me, but today was too much; finding out Sophie is gay, Jess and Vanessa, knowing the truth, my mother. Just everything that's happened, it's like no one wants me to be happy, but I guess I'm the kind of person who wants other people to be happy, rather then focus on me and my happiness. 

I stood up and walked over to my bed, looking at the pictures I had placed up a while ago, on my wall. A whole area of my wall was covered with photos, old photos that were taken when I was little: most of the photos were left behind when we moved out of our first home, but managed to keep some and even my birth certificate was left behind. I sat on the bed slowly and looked at all of the photos, all of the memories flooding back into my head as I recognized each on, and the day we had took them.

The first one I looked at was a photo of my nephew and me, sitting outside on bench in the park. I was holding him to my chest with my head placed in the crook of him neck, we were both laughing about something as I held him tight, with an ice cream in our hands. On the other side of me was my younger nephew, he had dropped his ice cream on the bench and stared down at it looking puzzled. I chuckled lightly, remembering we had to buy him another ice cream afterwards. Trees piled behind us, and the sun was shinning down on each and every one of us. That was the day of my nephew's birthday, we had just come from my mum's house and I was stopping over my sisters to be with them. We were going to throw him a small birthday party (the oldest one). In fact, when we did, my nephews ate all of the cake without us knowing, and we had to get him another one. It was a fun day.

The photo next to that one was a picture taken of me and...Sophie. We were outside of school in our uniforms; she was smiling at me and kissing my cheek, whilst I stared in to the camera: my eyes were shut tightly as I was blushing and scrunching my face up. We were both standing near the gates next to each other, as she held me. I remember that day like it was yesterday. 

We had just finished our last day of school before we go into the higher schools. She was telling me we'd stick by each other all the way and that she's always look after me and make sure I'm happy. That always made me smile when I thought about it, and here I was smiling like an idiot, sitting on my bed with nothing but my thoughts running through my mind, silence filling the room. After we took the photo, she pulled away from me and winked, grabbing my hand and telling me she'll be over at my house later. 

I can't believe so much has changed over the years, I never would have guessed she was gay; she always looked at guys the way...the way I looked at her during that time. Always talking about which guys were hot, and which ones she'd love to go out with. Not once did she mention any girls.

On second thoughts, I did catch her once staring at this girl in the changing rooms. We were about to go play volley ball with our gym class, and we had a match coming up soon, but when I turned around after I was ready. I caught her staring at a girl across the room still changing out of her clothes; Sophie was looking her up and down. I thought she was just looking around at first and maybe day dreaming, but I could tell she was checking her out. It was kind of obvious if you ask me, but at the time I just brushed it off.