I am Rogue [Book 1]

Chapter 17

A/N: I do apologize for my lack of updating. I got distracted with new ideas that I wanted to get started at least as well as just plain life interference. I do hope you enjoy the chapter.

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Chapter 17:

I was vaguely aware that I was once again waking up in a room I didn't belong in. Truthfully, it was becoming very old for my eyes to be blindly assaulted as they open up to stare at fluorescent lighting bouncing off of white walls. If these people were going to force a mate and pack on me without my compliance, the first thing on my list was to paint every wall black for a damned change.

"That isn't a bad color choice, but I always appreciate a nice rich dark burgundy myself," came a rich voice to my left, followed by a chuckle as I nearly rolled out of the bed I found myself laying in, my hair pooling around my form like a shield as I scurried over to the corner of the mattress.

Looking through my own personal veil, I found the rich dark eyes of the man from before staring at me, an amused grin on his full lips causing my insides to tighten a moment, though it didn't feel the same as when I felt fear or anger. No this feeling was more like my nerves were getting the best of me, as if I had stuck my finger in a light socket... and enjoyed the shock of my life. Who was this male, this man that seemed to touch my senses and caress my memory as if I knew him?

Grunting, I jerked the blanket that had been laid on me and attempted to use it as though the soft cotton quilt material could possible shield me away into a safe werewolf-proof cocoon. "Where am I... the walls look different than my previous room – though the white on the walls is still ever overbearing in relation to the lights." I had grumbled the last part, but he had already heard me talking to my damn self apparently so did it really matter?

"You're a wily one, aren't you, little rogue."

"Don't mock me! My life is being turned into a sham as it is by your stupid counsel. Better to be a rogue and choose my own way than be forced into a loveless and might I add ridiculous relationship that according to our laws is permanent unless my mate decides I'm not good enough." Growling slightly from irritation, I slammed the back of my skull against the bed's headboard, ignoring the slight throb that started on top of my already throbbing eyes.

"I can understand you're... displeased on being forced to mate. We are not creatures of human fantasy, we have no version of instant love, however. You may be able to build an affectionate relationship with your intended if you simply try to get to know him."

"Easy for you to say, you're an alpha. You can take a wife and divorce her at your own leisure while sleeping with other women on the side, because also unlike in human fantasy, we do not feel infidelity. If you were in my shoes, you could take the forced matting and then ignore the woman, but as the woman I have to acknowledge my husband."

Snorting at that, I couldn't help but rage about the chauvinistic attitude of werewolf society. It went without saying that there were no women on the counsel. The most power a woman could ever have is being Luna of a pack, and even then she only had as much power as her husband could be persuaded to her will. These people didn't want me, they wanted what I might give the next generation – a better backbone. Strong wolves made strong pups and all that horseshit.

"Are you done with your inner monologue yet?"

Groaning, I glanced towards tall dark and mysteriously familiar. "Sure, what can I do for you?"

The smirk fell back onto those kissable lips of his – 'Whoa girl, get a grip on those raging hormones'.

"First, I just want to talk to you. I understand your hesitation to trust someone from an actual pack-"

"Actual pack? Actual packs help one another. Actual packs accept their members as equals. Actual packs have a leader who puts the pack before themselves in every situation. Actual packs don't reject children just because of what they represent."

A finely dark feathered eyebrow rose on the stranger's face. "Did someone say I didn't treat the members of my pack equally? Please, tell me who the person is that has been filling your head with lies so that I can correct that behavior."

I snorted, I know, unladylike behavior, but it was a habit I had picked up from Nyx. "Like anyone has to say it. All you counsel pets are the same. You use and abuse."

His easy going attitude seemed to change as I spoke, his eyes now glinting with an emotion I couldn't fully place, but if I had had to guess, I would have said anger. This man was driving me insane with his odd attention to me, my strange hormonal attraction to him, and the fact that I didn't even know who he was yet. How anyone survived such a man...

"I think you should get more rest," he gritted out as he stood and turned towards the door.

"Wait!"

Why did I say that?! What do I say now, I wondered as he turned back to stare at me with a blank expression.

"Do... Do you know if Nyx is alright? I know he's still alive..."

Something in his face changed then, a flash of hurt crossing it I didn't understand before it returned to the previous state of remaining blank.

"This Nyx... is he why you won't mate? Are you committed to one another..." suddenly he held up his hand as if to stop me from answering. "Never mind. Please, get some rest, and also give some thought to what I am about to say."

Moving towards me, he reached out to grasp a few strands of my long hair, his eyes trained on my face. "You may be right in how some packs behave, but not all packs participate in such rubbish behavior. When you come face to face with the man who has been arranged to take you as his mate, remember that he is as much forced as you, that you are as much a stranger to him as he is to you, and that it is unfair to judge him or treat him unkindly when you may be surprised to find just how much you have in common with him."

As he released my hair, each strand rolling off of his fingers to hang back around my face, I felt something change inside myself. Something about how he spoke, his eyes showing some emotion I didn't understand. It was true that whomever that man was, he was just as forced as I. And as I watched this man leave me, I suddenly hoped the man my future depended on had some of the same qualities.

"Wait!"

A chuckle came from the man as his hand rested on the door handle. "For someone who doesn't like me, you ask me to wait a lot when I am trying to exit your temporary bedroom."

The way he said that caused a strange tightening in my gut and my face to feel as though it was on fire. The grin that touched his lips as he turned to find me with rosy red cheeks only caused more blood to rush up the back of my neck. "I... I was wondering what your name was..."

"Damien, Alpha Damien Kapoor."

As he turned back around to leave, I repeated his name, watching as his back seemed to tense up for a moment. When the door finally closed behind him, I threw my face in my hands, moving them to fist my hair and pull. Something was going on with me, something I didn't like because I didn't understand and it was all because of that giant pain in the ass who seemed to be everywhere in my memories lately even though I have just met him.

'I miss you Nyx. I hope you and everyone else are doing alright.'