𝐁𝐞 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐌𝐞

XVII

Doris gulped. It was both easy and difficult to hear this, this fact she'd suspected for quite a long time, finally confirmed. She wasn't sure whether to be surprised, disappointed, thrilled, or some strange combination of all of them.

"Did you- before my real mom died- did you-"

"I unfortunately wasn't as close with her then," Eva finished the sentence for her. "I wanted to come here to study, I was getting disillusioned with life in England... meanwhile she loved it there. She loved being with John, she spent all the time she could with him. And when we did talk, she always talked mostly about you and how much she wanted to raise you in England."

She wanted to raise you in England. This mother Doris had never known, had had such different plans for her than what she'd ended up with. It made her sad for a moment, that not even that simple wish of her mother's had been fulfilled.

She looked back up to Eva. "Where's my dad? My mom- she- always told me my dad had had to leave the country when I was little, had to go somewhere else."

Eva smiled sadly, shaking her head. "No, he lives here in America."

"In America?"

"Mm. In New York City, actually."

Doris' jaw dropped. "In- New York?"

Eva nodded.

"I- I was so close to him- for a whole semester-" She explained to Eva that she'd spent the last few months being out in the world for the first time in her life, going to Fordham and learning how to get by in the city.

Eva nodded along, the same sad smile on her face as she tentatively reached to pat Doris' shoulder. "New York isn't going anywhere, y'know."

Doris looked up at her, noticing that her aunt's chin largely resembled her own. "But he was there- so close to me and-" She withdrew the letters from her pocket. "Once my- once Helen finds out I've run away, which she already has by now, even if I went back home she'd never let me go back to college. Not knowing what I know now. She'd never let me leave home again."

"Is that house a place you want to go back to?"

Doris thought on it a moment. All she'd ever known of Dad, until she'd learned what she'd learned over the past two days, was concentrated entirely in that house. That was where she'd been shown the Beatles on TV; that was where her posters of Dad all were; that was where Helen Jones had taught her everything she thought she'd known about where she came from.

And even though so much of it was a sick, fabricated lie – the part about Dad was somehow true. And it felt strange to think of leaving that behind for good.

But Doris could never go back there. Not while Helen Jones was still around, probably looking for her this very moment.

Eva read Doris' face, smiling again to herself as she rose and gestured for Doris' teacup to refill. "You remind me of yer mummy. That was her decision-making face. She made it after she decided to go be with yer dad. She made it when she decided she wanted to raise you in England."

Eva paused a moment. "I hope I don't come off as cold, or too formal. I- Kathleen and I may have been slowly drifting apart, but I hope I've been able to help you, and that as time goes on you and I can get to know each other better."

Doris nodded silently, tearily smiling back. Eva was the first of her real family she'd ever met.

Eva glanced to the front door again; looking back at Doris she picked her cat-eye glasses back up. "You know where you've gotta go?"

Doris nodded. "I've gotta get back to New York."