act 2 + 𝑤𝑖𝑠ℎ𝑒𝑑 𝑤𝑒 ℎ𝑎𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑎𝑟𝑡 𝑜𝑓 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑔𝑖𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎 𝑓♡𝑐𝑘

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_____• ° ○ ✦ • ʏᴏᴜɴɢ ᴍᴇʟᴏᴅʀᴀᴍᴀ • ✦ ○ ° •_____

Excitement was the last thing I expected to feel on the first day of school. It's kinda funny and sad because my worst experiences I had was in that shithole. Maybe I'm glad because of the countdown of how months left in Creedlane can begin. Leave old habits behind and also people who are involved in my life against my will, and the version of me they created and know.

Or maybe I'm just desperate to see his face since we're back to digital silence and me wondering what went wrong. Something has to be wrong, but he doesn't want to say. He just keep appearing at his own will and disappearing at my dismay. It would be easy if he calls it off, but will be hard because he doesn't call it love. He wouldn't be able to because he thinks I need him, like everyone else does. And he's right, I need him. He doesn't reply, doesn't look at me in public. I'm fine with it. At least he should acknowledge me.

I realize I'm too desperate, so I turn off my phone and focus on the good things that might happen in school. We'll have to think of what play to perform for the Winter talent show. I'm excited to find out what role they will give me. I just hope it's not Romeo and Juliet or anything Shakespeare related, unless I'll lose my fucking mind.

Talking about digital silence, Jimmy's been slow with answering my emails. I understand he's busy with Just the Guy with a Duck! reboot movie and decide not to email him. However, we should start discussing the first step to begin the career we've always dreamt of. I'll check up on him later.

I stare at the mirror wearing a blue top and long black pants. I thought by staying at home all by myself for months, I would drop the use of the jacket. But I was alone all day, all by myself, with no one. This time, I'm going out to a place filled with people with curious eyes and the need to express their sympathy. I'm going to spend hours and I don't think I can't make it through without hating myself.

I sigh, not giving the disgust any attention. I grab my dark blue jacket from the bed and pull it on. It's better like this. Maybe if I get to leave Creedlane, I'll leave these habits behind. But now, I guess I'm still my old self with this old jacket that makes my mom want to bawl out her eyes anytime she sees it. She and Stan might come around like they always do to 'check' up on me. I groan, slapping my palm against my forehead. I wince from feeling a slight pain and a bump.

I walk closer to the mirror and trace back the small pimple with my finger. Are you kidding me? I can't even have one day off. I let out a long hiss as I walk back to my bed. This is the universe telling me it's not going to be a great first day.

I put my books in the bag, standing in the living room. I want to head to school early so I can avoid the crowded hallway. Hearing a knock on the door, I drop the things I'm doing with a frustrated groan. "I'm coming." I approach the door and open it. My mom stands there in her blue uniform, all dressed up for work. Her braids all back up in a bun and the seriousness on her face that has always existed since the dawn of time is still intact.

"Is it when the first period is over you'll decide to start going to school?" She walks in.

"Good morning too." I answer. I roll my eyes and walk back to zip my bag.

"I came to check whether you're ready." She says.

"Well, I'm ready. You don't have to check on me every time."

"I have to. Because you don't do things on time," she answers, looking around the living room. "He washed the dishes today. We thank God for that."

I scoff, shaking my head. I ignore her gaze and take my bag from the floor to the couch. "Are you done checking up?"

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