CrownGamer's Splatoon OC Lore: The Agent Archives

Chapter 15: Octo-pposites Day

It was an average morning at the Ammo Knights location in Inkopolis Square. Sheldon had just put on The Cephalopodcast with Deep Cut on the shop's radio, and he, Jewel, Autumn, and Derek listened to it as they worked in the shop.

"Welcome to The Cephalopodcast with Deep Cut," Shiver introduced the show. "As always, I'm Shiver, here with my co-hosts Frye and Big Man."

"I can't wait for today's show!" Frye squealed.

"Ay? (Why is that, Frye?)" asked Big Man.

"We're going to be talking about Inkopolis!"

"Ay? Ay? (I thought we didn't like Inkopolis? Why are you excited?)"

"That's because we're TRASH-TALKING INKOPOLIS!!!" Everyone promptly looked up at the radio with raised eyebrows.

"Well, at least they're honest with how they feel about us," Derek said.

"It's in part because I unintentionally charged them extra for a Splatana and a Stringer once," Sheldon explained.

"How much extra did you charge them for them to hate Inkopolis?" Jewel asked, turning from where she sat at the table cleaning an Octobrush to look at Sheldon.

"Let's just say both weapons had seven zeroes at the end and leave it at that," Sheldon said, looking away embarrassedly. All three kids looked at him.

"Look, I know you have to make a profit," began Derek, "but how do you ACCIDENTALLY ADD SEVEN ZEROS TO A PRICE TAG?!?!?!"

"IT WAS AT THE END OF A LONG DAY AND I WAS TIRED, OKAY???"

"And I thought you were charging us an arm, a leg, and a tentacle when we bought our weapons," Jewel said to Sheldon as the first customer of the day - Simon the Octoling with his Classic Squiffer - entered the shop.

"First off, some news about some new upcoming laws concerning weapons and Turf Wars," Shiver announced, rustling some papers over the air. "Splatsville is enacting a new law about purchasing weapons. Weapons can no longer cost money. Instead, they'll be purchased with a new type of currency only good in Splatsville - a weapon license - so that a certain horseshoe crab can no longer charge insane prices for weapons." Everyone once again looked at Sheldon, and Sheldon could feel Deep Cut glaring at him over the radio.

"IT WAS ONE TIME!" he yelled at the radio.

"Hello, Mr. Shelly-don," Simon greeted Sheldon, holding out his Classic Squiffer. "Here from Flounder Heights for Squiffy check-up."

"Hello, Simon," Sheldon greeted the pale orange Octoling. Jewel side-eyed the Octoling. Even after the incident during Booyah Bargain Day where she let her emotions control her - and ultimately caused Derek to almost become one with an Octarian computer - Jewel still had some misgivings about trusting Octolings. And while she was doing her very best to not judge Simon whatsoever like how she had the previous week, the way he said "Squiffy" instead of "Squiffer" was driving her up the walls.

"What exactly needs to be checked?" asked Sheldon. "This Squiffer looks to be in almost perfect condition."

"Squiffy looks fine on outside, but trigger is sticky," Simon replied.

"Ah, well let's have a look at that, shall we?" Sheldon and Simon moved over to the front counter while Jewel, Autumn, and Derek continued cleaning and polishing weapons, listening to Deep Cut.

"In Inkopolis, meanwhile, apparently a new law is being considered banning the use of Octarian language in Turf Wars and Ranked Battles to prevent confusion of signals during battle," Shiver read from her papers. "People still speak Octarian? I thought that language died out decades ago."