The Billionaire's Submissive

Nostalgia

I had been content with it years ago. But now, as I walked through those doors, all I could think about was turning on my heels and never coming back. I didn't care where I could run to. The woods, the hills, the damned river, I just wanted to be anywhere but there. 

Oh who was I kidding? Tom would find me. All he had to do was snap his fingers and I was back in his home with more pain and more lessons to learn.

This was my life now. What it had been for the past years and how it would always be. The only semblance of life, of truly living that I had experienced was the one night I had spent with him.

With Golden.

Flashes of our night together slipped through my head, taunting me, reminding me that life could be much more desirable but I had simply chosen the wrong man. Golden was a one time thing. I would never see him again and even if I did, nothing could happen between us. Tom would kill me before that would ever happen.

"Welcome back Miss," the familiar voice of our maid, Nuren, reached my ears. She stood in the living room dressed in a simple black overall. Her black hair was pulled in a pony tail and a small smile graced her lips. "How was Paris?"

She was a middle aged woman who helped around with cleaning the house because it was too damned huge for me to do it myself. Tom hired her when the house was completed.  If I were her, I would have quit years ago. But she must really love her pay because she stuck around anyway, irrespective of whatever madness descended on Tom.

I returned her smile, handed her my bag and climbed up the stairs without a word. I was too sad to think of saying anything. Not to her. Not to anybody. I had only a few hours before Tom got back home and I would love to spend it all to myself.

Tom's words in the car rang in my head as I turned the handle on the door that led to my room.

'Wear something sexy,'

Could I really have sex with Tom after all that had happened with Golden? After all that fire that he stoked inside me. All I wanted, all I could imagine was him, with me. As if Tom never existed and if he did, he didn't matter. I missed Golden so much already. His kisses, his touch, the taste of him on my tongue.

I shuddered, stepped into my room quickly and shut the door behind me. My room was one of the largest rooms on the top floor. It had a queen sized bed, the best and the worst feature of the room.

A large window on the side revealed the endless trees of a Forest range near us. It was a comforting sight when things got sad and dark. The sheets on my bed smelled new and fresh, inviting me over. Nuren, must have just changed them. Which meant Tom must have informed her of our arrival.

And he hadn't told me until we were about to go. Fucking hilarious.

Why was I even surprised? I shouldn't be. This was how my life had been for years. I should be used to the sadness.

To the pain, the suffocating madness that surrounded me. I should be used to being isolated, to being used and abused, to being nothing but an object of pleasure to a man I had once loved.

The corner of my eyes stung with tears and I clasped them tight, falling face first into my bed. A drop slid down the corner of my face, followed by another and then before I knew it, I was a sobbing mess.

My shoulders wracked and shook as each cry tore through my body, tears staining the sheets around me. I didn't want this life anymore. I wanted to be free.

I wanted to feel the way I had felt when I was with Golden again. Happy, carefree and so fucking good. I didn't want to be the typical housewife of a damned millionaire.

I didn't want to be envied at events and parties, treated like I was gold on the account of my husband's name and then treated like a doormat in my own home by the very man who had sworn to love, cherish and protect me.

I had spent years, wishing and hoping he would change. I had spent years believing like a fool that it was my fault he got angry. It was my fault he hated me. If I was perfect, if I was what he wanted, then he would love me. Then he would treat me exactly how he ought to.

"No more," I whispered, turning on my back so I could stare at the ceiling with blurry eyes. "No more tears. Things need to fucking change around here!"
Starting with me making decisions for myself for once. I would text Golden. I had to... I had to find a way to see him again. I didn't want to let go, not yet. Not now.

Scrambling to sit up, I looked around for my phone. I had handed my bag to Nuren so she could take it to the bag room. Tom hated seeing accessories in the bedroom so they had a separate closet. I doubted I had placed my phone in the bag. Heck I couldn't even remember the last time I had seen it.

All I could remember was picking it up just as we left the hotel. Nothing much after that. I closed my eyes, trying to breathe evenly, tracing back it all back to where I had used it last and without realizing, I succumbed to the darkness that surrounded me.
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Happy new month Readers!🥰 May March be a blessed one for us. Thank you for standing by me.