"I have NO PATIENCE for dinosaurs"

WHERE'S GAVIN?

The party was getting bigger by the moment. Nigel knew he had invited some of his mates and, invariably, those mates would have mentioned it to a few others, but the buzz must have got around, because now that Nige walked around the crowded rooms, different music playing in each room, depending on the vibe, he realised that he recognised fewer and fewer faces.

The throng of heads, bodies, colours, noise and smells, not all legal, all packed in (pre-Covid, of course) to his three-bedroom house, made it difficult to manoeuvre around and despite that people were obviously enjoying themselves, he couldn't help feeling a bit concerned. He had been to other parties himself and had seen the fallout afterwards.

At that moment he bumped into Tom who was drunkenly chatting to a very non interested person of the opposite sex and gender from which he had been born with (in future we'll just say women).

"Tom?" shouted Nigel to his friend, who tried to ignore him, convinced that he was making progress with the now back of the head of forementioned female.

(I should like to point out at this point, a bit late in the day I know, but the male is essentially a genetic mutation of the female form, so, ergo, the word male is a lesser form of female the same as man is a lesser form of woman and not the other way round, ie "erm, I know, lets add a Wo to Man". Just though I'd mention it.)

"Tom!" Nigel shouted louder.

"Aw, look what you've done," slurred Tom, turning around "you've scared her away." He added, immediately looking around the room for another possible target.

"You seen Gav?" laughed Nigel unsurely (he wasn't very good at relaxing, even when unsober, as he was now), showing his friend a picture, he had just taken on his phone.

Tom gave Nigel an incredulous look "Why would I want to see Gavin, relax, this is a party..." he said, gesticulating, pointing out the obvious and suddenly walking off, excusing himself through the crowd, his sonar having been alerted on his next target.

Nigel knew they had done the right thing, the party, it was Gav's idea after all, but, so many people, something might get broken and the clean up was going to be terrible and, unfortunately, Nigel had literally picked the short straw when they were deciding where to have the party. He also picked the shortest straw when it came to who was going to buy the booze and who was going to keep an eye on party boy Gav. He was notoriously problematic and mischievous.

In fact, Nigel remembered one time, at another party, when...

The flashback was broken, possibly thankfully, when shouting came from the kitchen and Nigel made an effort to dash to see what was going on, just in case, no one else seemed to want to take responsibility for the unfolding events. He had always found it hard, letting go, even on his birthdays and holidays, feeling the need to be in control at all times, though often failing, perhaps that's why a big bash was suggested, try and shake a few leaves from the tree.

Nigel pushed his way into the kitchen to see a drinking game in full swing, the uproar being caused by removal of various articles of clothing and the use of some of the fridge's contents. Doesn't look like Nigel with be having his usual yoghurt and muesli for breakfast tomorrow, he wasn't a fancier of hairy yoghurt, though he did think it was considerate of someone to decide to put it back in the fridge.

Gavin sat in the corner of the kitchen, in the armchair, the party hat still on and a red lipstick kiss on his face, bottle firmly clutched in his hand, soaked in alcohol and well and truly out for the count.

Grabbing a bottle beer from the table, Nigel popped the cap and took a swig of the warm liquid and decided to throw caution to the wind and try his luck at some male to female conversation (I'm really not being sexist it was just the way it was going to go), besides, if Tom could have such luck, then why not him.