wish // 5SOS

42

"Yeah. We wouldn't have two new family members without their very brave mother,"

"I'm not their mother. You guys are,"

"You are their bio mum, and they are gonna know that, and she is going to be so proud that she gets to share a name with you,"

"I don't think so,"

"I think so. We will let you rest now, make sure you give them lots of cuddles if you feel up to it. They seem to like cuddles,"

"I know,"

"We will see you soon, then," she said, kissing my forehead, "Maybe tomorrow?"

"Maybe in a few days,"

"Okay. You let us know. Mads brought you snacks,"

"Oh. Thank you. I think I don't want visitors anymore,"

"Okay, sweetheart," Calum said, "We will keep you two updated, it was good to see you,"

He gave them both a hug, then waved them off, opening the bag of snacks to look inside. Axel looked too, then grabbed chocolate out and passed it to me, standing up.

"Does my dad finish work soon?"

"Not for a couple of hours,"

"Oh. Boring. I'll ask Auntie Sierra if I can use her office,"

"You can stay in here," I said, "I just wanna sleep,"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah,"

"Are you okay?" dad asked, coming to stroke my head, but I pulled away and nodded. I didn't feel okay but I also didn't feel like I was allowed to not feel okay.

"Ax, your dad's office code is 1603,"

"Is it really? My birthday?"

"Yep,"

"I think your dad loves you a lot," I said, "I am happy for you,"

"You've not drawn a short straw," he said, hugging me goodbye, "I will come and study here tomorrow, or come to your house. Only if you want. Say no if you want to,"

"I would like that,"

"Okay. See you then,"

He gave Calum a really tight hug, then left us, so Calum shut the curtain over the door and sat next to me with furrowed eyebrows.

"Just me and you. Tell me what you're thinking,"

"Nothing,"

"Are you sure?"

"I know my babies like cuddles. I grew them for 7 months. I know them. All babies like cuddles, I am not dumb.

"I think they just want to make sure you still feel involved,"

"And I think I just need to go to sleep,"

"Alright,"

"I know about my babies,"

"I know," he hushed, gently tucking me in, "Go to sleep. Maybe when you wake up you will be able to go home,"

I started crying, and he pulled my cover back to hold a pillow on my bump, which made me cry more. They weren't actually my babies anymore. That wasn't exactly what I was sad about, it was more that just because they were out of the womb it didn't mean I didn't know them. I knew them the best out of everyone. When I saw them kicking I knew which one of them had been kicking my bladder. I just knew. I knew them. Of course the fucking liked cuddles. Gabi and Maddox knew them five minutes and were already trying to tell me new stuff about the babies I already knew. I wasn't stupid. I hated when people spoke to me like I was stupid.

"I know the babies,"

"You do. You are going to be an amazing support for them,"

"I love them,"

"I know. Me too,"

"When I am home can we still come back and visit?"

"As much as you want!"

"Okay. I am glad they have good parents but I know they like cuddles,"

"You do," he said, gently stroking my forehead when I let him, "They just wanted to make sure you felt included, it was not meant to be an instruction. They are both super excited that you get to be involved,"

"Will Amelie really like her middle name being my name?"

"I think she will love it,"

"Okay. Maybe while I get better Gabi and Maddox can bond with the babies a bit more and then I can visit,"

"Alright,"

"I just wanna go to sleep,"

"You can go to sleep, honey. I will be right here,"

He tucked me back in and stayed by my side, helping me get to sleep. I wanted the pain to be gone. I wanted to go home. I wanted to go back to school and have friends and homework and look and feel normal.
But all of that seemed to far right now.