𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃 ᵍⁱˡᵇᵉʳᵗ ᵇˡʸᵗʰᵉ

33

"That's a splendid idea," Anne beamed, cradling Delly in her arms.

"What if he doesn't like it?" Charlotte thought out loud.

"He will," Diana told her.

Anne smiled. "Can I read it?"

"No."

Charlotte furrowed her eyebrows as Diana and Anne exchanged glances, equally looking at each other in concern. "I didn't mean it in a bad way, just I want it to be just for him, you know? Hello? What's wrong?"

"Gilbert..." Diana trailed off, glancing over Charlotte's shoulder.

The brunette spun around, any ounce of happiness she felt; gone.

A tall blonde girl stood beside Gilbert, arms linked together and wide smiles on both their faces. She was everything Charlotte wasn't. She had a corset, a pretty smile, blonde hair, she was tall, she had hips and she had cleavage. She was definitely older than Charlotte.

Two emotions gripped at Charlotte, sadness and anger. Anger he would do that to her after writing notes to her and making her feel special, but that was two years ago.

Angry that he looked at her like gold during dance practice when all this time, there was someone else that he cared about more.

Another emotion washed over her that she didn't know what it was. Jealousy. For some reason, she wanted to be standing there with him, with her hand linked with his. She wanted him to smile down at her like that.

"I'm looking for Jerry," Charlotte said harshly, using the first excuse she could think of to leave the conversation.

"Are you—"

"I'm fine," she snapped towards Diana, storming away.

Her blood pumped in her ears and her face felt hot. She glanced behind her, just in time to see the woman stumble on her heels and Gilbert place his hands on her waist to steady her.

Tears brimmed her eyes as she rushed through the fair, aiming to find her friend. Her hand floated towards her waist and she tried to imagine it was someone other than her holding on. Charlotte's blues made eye contact with her pocket as she felt the sheet of paper she had spent two years perfecting. Two years rewriting, two years checking her spelling, two years making sure it was perfect.

And in two seconds, all that effort meant nothing.

A gasp left her throat as she walked into someone, wiping her eyes before they could see her close to tears.

Jerry glanced down at her, holding her shoulders until she regained her balance. "Everything alright?"

She clenched her jaw, nodding for what felt like forever. As she stopped, her sadness was replaced with anger the longer she thought about the letter in her pocket. "Yes, I'm fine."

"I'll see you later then?"

Once again, she nodded, before turning around the way she came and stomping right towards the one person she hated in that moment.

She found Gilbert standing by the ice cream cart alone. His eyebrows raised in confusion as she stormed up to him, shoving her piece of paper in his face. "You remember this?"

"Hello to you too?"

"Do you remember this?" she repeated. "The letter you wrote to me for Christmas two years ago, where you told me to write you back? Guess what, I did."

Gilbert frowned at the girl in front of him, before glancing back at Winnifred. There was only one reason why she was acting the way she was, because she had seen him with her. Gilbert immediately felt his jaw tighten and stomach churn.

"You saw Winnifred then?" he asked.

She continued glaring up at him, anger the only thing she felt. Winnifred?  Nobody in Avonlea was called Winifred. "I'm not talking about Winnifred. I'm talking about you."

"Yes I remember writing that."

"Great, here's the letter you asked me to write you." Charlotte held the letter out, waiting for him to take it.

He didn't.

"Take it." She shoved it in front of him again. He didn't take it.

Why wouldn't he take it?

"I can't," he replied, straightening his posture. "I'm with Winnie."

In that moment, Charlotte felt herself shrink twice her size, she could feel her stomach twisting in a sickening way and her heart beginning to clench.

"It wouldn't be right taking it when I'm with her," he said. "It's not fair to her."

Not fair to her?  Tears brimmed Charlotte's eyes as he rejected her letter right in front of her. The letter she wrote for him. "You're not even going to take it and put in in your pocket?"

As he remained still, Charlotte stepped towards him, holding up the letter and ripping it in half right through the middle. "Guess what. You weren't worth any of the letters I wrote for you."

Gilbert watched as she threw the letter to the ground, before walking away. Charlotte was glad her back was turned as she ran away from the fair, ran away from him. Because if she had faced any other direction, they would have seen a girl running along with eyes red from holding back tears.

As she ran along the road leading back to green gables, she glanced up at the sky, her eyes catching a bright yellow balloon soaring through the sky. She could faintly make out a redhead girl alongside a man and woman.

That's when the tears finally fell.

Because she truly had nobody that would make her their first choice. It was Anne, or Jerry, or Gilbert or Winnifred. Charlotte was an option, but she was never the choice.

Once she reached Green Gables, her eyes were red, tears continuing to roll down her cheeks. Rage boiled up inside her as she stormed inside her room, straight to her wall full of words she had written over three years.

All about one person.

Her breathing was loud and pained as she gripped her knuckled around the papers and tore downwards, sobs leaving her throat as the sheets flew off the wall and onto the floor.

Papers splotched with ink were scattered around the floors as she continued ripping sheet after sheet off the wall till all that remind was the ink stain and the plank of wood with her name on it.

The plank was pulled off the wall, thrown across the room until it hit the desk, tipping the contents over. A sheet of paper and a pen fell out.

Charlotte dropped to her knees scribbling the only feelings and thoughts she had in that moment.

Why are you making me feel like this. How can one person make me feel like this. I hate you Gilbert Blythe. And I hate your stupid brown eyes and I hate your dumb curly hair and I hate your hugs and I hate you.

I Hate You I Hate You I Hate You I Hate You.

She wiped away her tears, her handwriting growing slow and dreamy as she finally uncovered the feeling she felt. The feeling that built up since he first stopped Billy from beating her up, and the feeling that showed itself more than ever when she saw someone else with him.

She was scared of the feeling. She had never felt it before.

But as she slowly wrote the words down, the feeling slowly revealed itself and she felt stupid she hadn't noticed it before. Because no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't hate him with a bone in her body.

Charlotte knew she felt it, and she never knew she could feel that much for one person.

I Love You. 

---

10/03/2024

only seven chapters left. 

I'm not ready to let them go.