Chapter Fifty Four

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...

-Velaris-

Even the lingering horror at his own loss of control and abiding anger was not enough to stop the small smile that curved Azriel's lips as he watched Rhysand and Feyre reunite in the Town House's sitting room.

He was able to look at them for an entire minute, before their joy became unbearable. Before he began to wonder why he couldn't have that. Why she wouldn't come back to him.

"Go find somewhere else to be for a while." Rhysand told all of them. Azriel immediately obeyed. He winnowed out of the House, before launching into the sky.

He finally let himself think about what had happened in the Winter Court- when his common sense had been devoured by his anger.

Azriel knew what it was. Knew where that unrelenting rage came from. Who had caused it. The only person who had ever been able to make him lose control completely. Who, even from afar, made him forget everything.

He allowed himself to do what he had been avoiding for weeks. He tried to feel her down the bond.

But there was nothing. A hard wall of emptiness. Like she was dead. Like she had never been.

Azriel finally ceased his flying, returning to his private apartment. He hadn't slept in- hell, he couldn't remember. Between planting spies all around the continent, flying all around the continent, and planning with Rhysand... he hardly had time to sit down. He still hadn't changed his bloody leathers. He'd washed the blood off his face and hands, at least.

Once he was in his bathroom, Azriel turned the bathwater to the hottest setting. Until it was scalding hot. Until it burned his skin as he got in. He sat and stared at nothing, exhaustion nipping at him. The only thing he allowed himself to feel was the boiling hot water that seared his skin.

...

-Hybern-

I slept for three days. I was still exhausted when I finally woke, but at least my power was relatively calm.

In those three days, it seemed the king had decided that this war was not progressing as quickly as it ought to. Perhaps it was because of his failure to take down the Wall. Perhaps it was because his niece and nephew had been killed.

For likely both reasons, the King of Hybern was livid. And he wanted to see me the moment I woke.

I tried to urge my hands to still as I considered the possibilities of the reasoning behind my immediate summoning to the throne room. A servant had rushed me so much that I'd barely had the time to change and wash my hands and face.

Had Hybern decided that since I could not take down the Wall- or so he thought- I was of no further use? I hadn't provided any more information on Prythian or the Night Court. Maybe I should. Feed him a half truth that wouldn't get him anywhere useful so that he would think I was still of need to him.

I refused to allow myself to ponder the other possibility. That I had been discovered at last. Jurian had seemed to see through me. Just the look in his too familiar eyes said it. And three days without my interference might just have been enough for Orion to convince the king I was a traitor.

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