it'll make you feel better
says the little voice
just once and you'll feel better
you'll see
so i listen bc i feel numb
i open that drawer and hope it's not where i left it
but it's still there under my socks
i run the blade across my skin
just enough to hurt
but that isn't enough
says the little voice
just go a little deeper and you'll feel better
says the little voice
but im scared and my hand is shaking
i want to make myself bleed
i want to make myself feel
it's cold outside
says the little voice
no one will see your legs
and then im cutting and it feels good
right next to my stretch marks
my too skinny thighs
what's one more imperfection
just one more
says the little voice
and i cant stop
now the little voice is screaming
stop, stop
now there are thorns in my skin
and the tiny beads of blood are growing
now my thighs are covered in ugly red lines
and i can't figure out why there are so many
and the little voice keeps saying
what have you done
what have you done
look what you've done
YOU ARE READING
words i never said
Poetrysolid ground feels strange under my feet like i've been at sea for a long time and i want to sink back into old habits the places i must never go back to you're not here to stop me my name is nova. these are the words i never said.
