It all happened so quickly, she barely had time to process Steve's lips were on hers when his hands grabbed the back of her head.
She kissed him back wanting to feel whatever sensation she had dreamed of for all these years yet she felt nothing. It was dead.
All this time she had pictured this moment in her head, to have Steve hold her close to him and melt their mouths together. She was always so sure it would feel like all those John Hughes movie endings and they would be in love forever.
She pushed him off feeling an immediate wave of guilt for the action but she needed to know, she needed the closure.
"You can't just turn up here and kiss me, Steve!" She said, anger rising up in her.
It was like he knew, like he'd purposefully waited until she given herself to Billy completely to come and ruin it all.
"You kissed me back" He clarified, avoiding the blame.
"And I didn't feel anything! You're too late, You had all those years, all that time..." She replied, her lips forming a pout.
"You didn't feel anything?" He asked, deflation evident in his voice.
He didn't believe her, there was no way she didn't feel what he had just felt. It wasn't like Nancy or Tina or any other girl in Hawkins, it felt right; he felt comfortable.
She looked at the boy in front of her who she had felt such a whirlwind of emotions for, his sad eyes made her feel guilty but she reminded herself she had done nothing wrong except simply move on from him.
"You need to go, Steve" She replied, her voice coming out more of a whisper.
His eyes flickered up to the window, while he couldn't see Billy, he knew he was watching. He still didn't trust him, no matter how much he had been there for Dana with her mother's passing. He was ruining all of this even from afar. She had known him for a few months, how could that short time replace their whole lifetime of knowing one another?
"If he wasn't here, you wouldn't be saying this" Steve stated.
In some ways, he was right. If Billy hadn't been around then she would have found herself once again relying on Steve and maybe this time it would've worked out, they would've dated and went off to college, got married and had a big house with a white picket fence like she had always dreamed of.
But she didn't want that anymore and she didn't want him, not as anything more than a friend anyway.
Her mind trailed to Billy who had probably overheard this entire conversation, she was scared he would be angry with her. The thought of him leaving terrified her, she needed him.
She wanted to always wake up to his face, to see him roll his eyes whenever she mentioned his secret love for her romcom movies, to smell his smoky aftershave after a hard day, to belt out shitty renditions of pop songs on his car as they drove down the long streets of Hawkins with the wind in their hair. She wanted it all and she wasn't going to let Steve come along and destroy everything she had come to love because he had suddenly decided now was convenient for him.
"Go home, Steve" Dana said firmly "Merry Christmas"
Before he had the opportunity to respond she walked inside and closed the door in his face. She hoped their friendship wouldn't be tainted by this but like her mom had told her last time they had argued, they had been through too much and he would always be there for her. She would fix this another time, her focus had to be on Billy right now.
She walked into the kitchen where she found him zipping up his pair of jeans, his belongings scattered on the table next to his bag.
"What are you doing?" She asked.
YOU ARE READING
Sweet Nothings // Billy Hargrove
Fanfiction"I would never date you in a million years" "Good job it's all fake then isn't it?"
