Unwanted Bride

The Scent of Mendhika

DRAUPADI

I sure don't have a kingdom of my own, or an army I can command but I won't take any crap from anyone. But I do understand the importance of my marriage. Even if I have to live my life without love from my husband, I won't let it affect the people around me. Afterall that was what I was taught. That I should sacrifice my happiness or comfort to do my duty. Yesterday I let my anger take control of me but from today I will watch my action. Even if he doesn't love me back or accepts me, I will still stay as a loyal wife as long as we are together.

The sun goes down again, I spend my days in my room alone. No one comes to talk to me to give us privacy but its been a week since I saw my husband. The helpers readies me everyday, making me look beautiful for him but he is nowhere to be seen. I have stopped expecting him every night to come to me. Its funny how a woman's heart is. I never expected him to win the swayamvar, I didn't even know how he looks, I have just heard about him as the soon to be Yuvraj or Hastinapur and a great archer. The moment he put the sindur on my head I suddenly belonged to him and all my heart knew was him. From then onwards till now, even when he told me he cannot love me, I still longed for him.

Maybe I don't love him, I don't know. Even then he is all I think about. Maybe the fact that he is my husband is the reason of me feeling this way but it is true that I feel something for him that he doesn't for me. 

Unexpectedly, matashree Kunti and Gandhari comes in to my room, a lady in royal attire shyly follows them. 
I get up to touch their feet, still unfamiliar with these wedding life, "Pranam matashree, why did you two bother to come here? Should have called me instead." 

The two old queens blesses me, "May your husband live long, putri." Funny, I don't even know where my husband is.

I help the blindfolded queen to sit.  
"This is Bhanumati, Duryodhaan's wife. You must not have met her. She was in Kashi when you arrived here."

Bhanumati tries to touch my feet but I stop her, "You need not. I am happy to meet you." I indeed am. Finally someone my age, someone who joined the family recently like me.

She smiles shyly, "Jiji, I wanted to meet you as soon as I came back but it was rude to disturb your personal space." 

I shake my head, "Nothing like that."

"Draupadi, you are eldest daughter-in-law but Bhanumati was here since six months now so she must know the palace better. You two should spend time together and form a strong bond, its important." Matashree Kunti tells me.

Matashree Gandhari agrees, "Its true, the Kuru family is united today because of me and Kunti, I can proudly say. You may not fight war but your responsibility is not to be undermine. We will rest soon and handover the duties to you two soon. There will be times when you feel hopeless but its important to look at the bigger picture, for the greater good." 
Her words feels personal, it is true that queens don't get the love of their husband to themself. Even Mata Laxmi suffered because she wanted the love of Vishnu Dev to herself. I should keep my personal life aside and help my prince do his duty, I should not bother him with my feelings or whatever it is.

The two old queens sat with us for sometime and went away. Bhanu stayed back.

"So jiji, tell me. How do you like Hastinapur?" She ask.

"Hastinapur is.. very majestic." I tell her.

"Better than Kampiliya?"

"Nowhere is better than home."

"Hastinapur is our home now, jiji." She says, but sure doesn't feel like it.

"Hastinapur has better things, I guess." I try to praise the place.

She laughs at my attempt, "Kampiliya is rich I have heard. There must not be a thing you didn't have there. But here you have Rajkumar Karna, he will soon be the Yuvraj." 

My mouth becomes tight. "He is tough and distant but once you get closer you will know there is no one like him." She tries to assure me but its hard to forget his words, the only things he have spoken to me.

As time went by I became closure to Bhanu. Malini followed me from Kampiliya, we have close since as long as I can remember but I am happy to gain another friend. Someone I can talk to and spend my time with. Bhanu however is not free like me, her husband, Duryodhaan, needs her and they like spending time together.

Bhanu talks nice things only about Karn, she told me that Karn helped them get married because both Kashi and Hastinapur was against their marriage. Dhuryodhaan and Karn also got much closer than before because of that. There of them seems to spend time together a lot also. One Evening, I confessed to Bhanu. "Bhanu, its been a month since I saw my husband. I don't know his whereabouts or how he is doing. No one calls me out of the room or disturbs me because they think they are giving me and him privacy. I don't expect anything but I do wish to know where he is."

"He is in his chamber." She tells me. 
"His chamber? But this is his chamber. I am told the room opposite to mine is his, and I understand, princes needs their own room. But chamber?" I ask her in confusion.

"There is another chamber. It is part of the palace but a different building. No one is allowed there except for my husband and the brothers I think. Even I have not entered there." 

"But.." I want to say I am his wife and should be allowed but realise he doesn't care about that. Even when kings have multiple wives, the first one or maybe the favorite one is the only who shares a chamber. He doesn't have other wives yet but I not in a place to share a chamber I guess.

"Your brother Aswathama also goes there, you can ask him. I don't know the details except that women don't go there. Maybe they talk about war and stuff."

I don't need to ask about anything. I don't think I have the right and bratashree Aswathama should not be in a awkward situation because of me. I don't tell Bhanu my talk with Karn at the first night, I am too embarrassed to tell but she surely must know I don't get the same affection from my husband that she gets from hers. But I am hurt. I feel so little, he makes me feel like I am not important at all. No matter how much I tell myself its fine, I am hurt.

"Your mendhika is fading, lets reapply it." Malini says removing the heavy bangles from my wrist.

"Lets do it tomorrow." I tell her, "Its not like I have anything else to do."

KARNA

I didn't go to see Draupadi for a month. I don't feel anger towards her but what will I do? What do I talk with her? It was foolish of me to think it will be fine because soon others started to notice and when Pitamah started lecturing I had to go. "You already married late, do you think its time for you to be this childish?" was his exact words. Its fine. I have my study room and there is a bed there.

The chamber I have been living for the past 10 years seems different. There are lighter colour curtains, flower on the vase, different aroma. I don't hate it but its different.

My eyes fall on Draupadi who is unaware of my presence. She lies on the couch but both her hand dips in a bowl. Her hair open and I cannot lie, she looks beautiful. Even while laying down clumsily on her stomach, she looks gorgeous. I stop at the entrance, unable to enter. The lady beside her take one of her hand and draw circles on both side of her hand with something brown in colour, maybe this aromatic pleasing yet strong scent is coming from it. 

When we were in Kampiliya, we were required to sit next to each other in many situation and I noticed Draupadi smelled nice. I never complimented her on that or anything, my ego was too high to do that.

The lady turned back, maybe sensing my presence, she stands up fast. Draupadi stretches her head, she looks surprise but just sits up, fixing her odhini with her wet fingers.

I feel like I am an imposter in my own chamber, "I am just going to my study." I turn back to enter my study without looking at them again, my heart beating fast.

"Your odhini is ruin now, why did you touch it with your mendhika covered finger tips?" I can hear the lady, and it feels like I am the problem.

I enter my study, my eyes wish to look at Draupadi once more. 

"Behave yourself, Karna." I scold myself, "Think about Vrushali. She the only one for you."