By the window (ONC2024)

7. Time passing by

When we met again, it was as if things had changed between us. In a great way like we bonded without him even knowing my name. He makes me smile just with him making these jokes about himself and his self a steam, all I did was figure out soon he wasn't that self-assured he was acting like.

"It's been over a month, no one's looking for you?" I ask Nathan as I arrive at his motel room late at night. "No, my dad doesn't care what I do, and my mom is dead to me." Shocked by his words, I felt sorry for him, I know how it feels to lose a parent, but he did not say she died, so it could still be that she is alive. "Is anyone looking for you?" He said with a laugh, it wasn't a question, it just made the feeling inside me worse. I missed my father, what if he is lost without me? He was always with my mom, never alone, what if he doesn't take care of himself?

Nathan takes my hand and takes me to the bed in the room, "don't worry if your parents care they will find you, it's not far from home, we didn't come". He laughs, not knowing that my dad isn't the kind to take action to find me and my mom isn't here anymore.We talked, because as you can see, every time I try to get deeper with him, he gets deeper. Every night we went to the bar to pay for our stay at the motel. The money I had saved slipped away every day, and I wasn't ready to go home. I felt free for the first time and wasn't ready to give it all up so soon. It was a month later, but it felt like days, Nathan was changing me every day. Finally, I came out of my three, like he calls my squirrel, he knew my name. I told him, but he liked his pet name for me better. After our kiss that one special night it never happened again, unfortunately he was too involved in his started career and the things it brought with it.

Now he was not only performing in a bar, but he had also been noticed by a producer, who took him for his first single. I was so proud of him for finally finding a way in his music. He wasn't the type to work in a hospital or a lame company, he was an artist with a voice you couldn't ignore."I've got another session in the studio," Nathan blurts out excitedly, snapping me out of my thoughts. I look at his face glowing with happiness, he was always the happy type, we all had our bad days too. "Seriously, that's awesome," I said, still thinking in my head about all the moments we had and would have. Little did I know that everything was about to change. Not only was the bar getting more crowded, but he was also doing some concerts in other places. "Aren't you happy?" Nathan asks, hurt by my lack of excitement. "I am Nathan, but isn't it going too fast?" I ask him, worried about his moral and emotional feelings. Not that the man is open about his feelings, all I want for him is to be happy.

"You are just jealous! You are just a waitress with no talent." He stepped on my heart with his words. He knew it was something I had to do to get some money, I didn't want to live off his money. Money he was just starting to make with his money that I told him to save for other things and not to spend on me. And now he made me feel worthless, for the first time I finally felt great that he ruined for me. "How dare you call me jealous," I said to him without raising my voice. Nathan looked like he woke up from a dream and shook his head. I was afraid of what this life would bring him. 

"Sorry, I am not myself." That was the last I heard from him until I saw him later in the bar. Now that the bar was so busy because of Nathan and his made-up fans, he had to hire someone to help him serve drinks. When he asked me, I could not say no, so I waited for him so he could catch up at the bar. It paid well and I could pay my expenses. It also made me forget about my troubles, not really troubles but more like a sad feeling because my dad wasn't looking for me. "Hello beautiful," says Richard, my admirer from the first time I came here. He is just teasing me. The more he drinks, the more he sweet-talks me, and I already know it's just harmless. "Hello, Rich, how are you?" Now he's not so drunk that he can answer questions; "Still making money, you know," he says sweetly, so I know this is his third or fourth drink. He's rich, that's why I call him, so he looks like he's not much older than thirty. He looks good to me, but he's not the type of man I usually fall for when I fall for men because I didn't like dating. Everything in the past has been about studying and taking care of my father.

"Do you still not want to go out with me?" He asks me, as he has been asking me for a few days now. "Sorry, not interested," I tell him, so I can get back to work and then hear the first set of Nathan's singing, my heart spinning as his timbre fills the room. Each girl moves closer to the stage in the corner, giving me more space at the tables, and I serve some drinks to the students who come here often. They greet me as I hand them their drinks, "Do you know the singer?" A girl at the table with the students asks me with interest. I give her a smile, "Nathan, yes we hang out," I say in the language of the young, how I have changed in a few days is still overwhelming me. I had to grow up faster than others, and now I felt young and loose, so I had picked up some of their language as well. Furthermore, I also went to the club with those boys, some of them knew Nathan, I don't understand why they didn't tell her. When she keeps asking me things about Nathan, I understand why they didn't tell her, she's definitely a fan or even in love with him. It starts to get creepy when she asks about his shirt size. "I've got to go, guys," I tell them as I walk back to the bar to escape her and her creepy questions.

"Busy night girl, can you take this to the table in the back," Marc the bartender asks me with the two drinks in my hand I go to the corner where he led me to see a young man reading. It looked strange, but I understood him, I also like to be in a crowd when I study. "Here is your drink." He looks up and something strange happens, a feeling as if we knew each other, but I can't find out from where. "Thank you," he says and goes back to reading his book. Just as I am about to ask him more, I hear Nathan say on stage that he wants to sing a new song of his. 

I look at Nathan, who is beaming with excitement about singing his own songs. He got them from the producer a few days ago and would record them soon. The reason I wasn't as excited as he was because his producer, or as he calls himself, his manager, was giving me strange vibes.