Keep me in your ocean

Chapter 2

Studies have shown that there are 27 human emotions in total. Before, it was believed that there were only 6: happiness, sadness, fear, anger, surprise, and disgust. Emotions can be present from milliseconds to years. Grief could be eternal, anger could last decades, and joy could only be present for brief flashes.

I knew that whatever my Mom was going to say was going to make me feel a lot of things. My head had gone around this conversation over and over again, not unlike a roundabout. The heartache this conversation would cause I had been feeling for forever, and it was starting to piss me off. Couldn't I go through the 7 stages of grief in like, 10 minutes tops? I wanted to bonk my brain with a newspaper like a naughty cat that was annoying it's owner.

It was a beautiful afternoon. The balcony, that took all the right sides of my house, had its long sliding doors open. It was past sunset, the dark night looming over our house and the moon slowly being allowed to once more reflect on the water. The air was warm, as it was still summer. My house was right in front of the beach, and it was close enough that you could hear the waves crashing against the sand as the tide rose. It did nothing but remind me what I was going to lose.

I knew what was coming. I had avoided it all summer. She had mentioned it time and time again, and I had run away from it. 'A possibility,' she had said. 'A possibility that would be a wise plan for the continuation of my studies.' I had tried to avoid her, not wanting to listen.

The things I had done to escape her were so extreme they were almost comical. Escaping from my window when she knocked on my door at night? Spilling coffee on a rug so she'd be distracted? Randomly pretending that one of my friends had found out they were pregnant? I thought that maybe she'd forget about it, but clearly, she didn't. And my friend, Domingo, was still upset that my mother had asked her how far along she was.

"I've been trying to prepare you for this all summer." She said softly, previously booming through the room. "I didn't want to blind side you."

I could still run. I thought I literally could still run. She would never be able to catch up to me. I mean, she's old, right? And I'd have the element of surprise. But I was rooted there. I was absolutely exhausted, and I could tell she was too. I couldn't keep running, she wasn't going to forget.

I was still entertaining the thought of genuinely just taking off when she sighed deeply, making me pause. "Pack your things, we are moving to Boston in two days."

I felt the words drop to my stomach like an anchor and I was prepared for pain and anxiety. I was prepared for all the voices in my head to start wailing and for my eyes to burn. I was prepared for any emotion, but definitely not relief. Relief, that I could stop running. But relief was brief.

My mom continued to speak. Something something, Boston. Something something, Academic Excellence. Something something Are you even listening?

Oh. That was a question.

"Yeah. I'm listening."

No I wasn't.

I could see her mouth moving and her hands animatedly waving around, but I couldn't hear her. My heart was pounding in my ears. The air in my lungs wasn't moving, or was it? I didn't know if I was hyperventilating or if I couldn't breathe, I just knew my lungs had something to do with my lightheadedness. Relief was a minute ago, and my mind knew how to turn emotions around very well.

"I've been telling you all this summer that it was a huge possibility, but you wouldn't listen!" She scoffed, making her way into the kitchen.

"I thought that you'd forget about it and move on!" I sat down at the edge of our table, trying to calm my shaking legs.