Desire's & Fate

Chapter 29

"What!" Fiona jumped to her feet.

"What are you saying," she cried. "Clam down please let us hear her out."

"Even with neonatal and lifelong medical intervention, there is no guarantee that your son will make it to the term or if he does survive long after. As he grows, his bones are cracking to make way to grow and fit in the tiny space with his opened vertebrae." Dr. Harris explained.

I was speechless.

"What I recommend is that you two take some time to think about it. I have all the information here for you to go over. Take some time to read them over but please know Many babies would not or develop hydrocephalus (a build-up of fluid on the brain), which can further damage the brain. In spina bifida, part of the neural tube does not develop or close properly, leading to defects in the spinal cord and bones of the spine (vertebrae). what I would do if you decide to terminate is endure labor, and you can hold your baby and watch him until his final moments. I must tell you that time is of the essence. We need to do it sooner rather than later to avoid intrauterine damage."

I sat there pale face watching as all these words were coming out of her mouth.

"If you decide to carry to term, there is so much distress that will be placed on the fetus, like underdeveloped lung, low birth weight, and severe distress being placed on his heart, and they usually die minutes after birth if not days."

"Wait, wait, please, how does this happen? What did I do wrong?" Fiona cried out until she was soft, and I was at a loss for words while I tried to comprehend.

"Again, I'm so sorry. This is not your fault just a birth defect that sometimes happens."

"There is no way I could. I'm not strong enough. There is no way I could bear this," Fiona said, and I could only hold her. I held, took her in my arms, and held her close.

"There is a way we can induce, and you get to hold your baby. And see all the possibilities instead of bearing the loss and never getting to hold him. I'm so sorry this doesn't make it any easier." Dr Harris said.

A tear rolled out my eye and down my cheek, I picked Fiona up in my arms and walked out of the office with Dr. Harris following behind.

"Ryon, please go over the information I placed in your back seat, and I will call both of you," Dr Harris said as I did Fiona's seat belt.

"I'm sorry... you have to go through this," she said and patted my arm.

I nodded and drove off. I didn't want to go back to work or either of our apartments, so I took her to PureDynasty.

Without uttering a word, I placed her on the couch after carrying her through the lobby. Fiona wasn't herself, and she hadn't the strength. who could blame her?

I sat beside her with a deep frown after I grabbed two bottles of water from the bar fridge.

"We need to talk about this," I said, handing her one of the bottles after a defining silence filled our space.

"I need something stronger," she grumbled, making a face.

"I need something stronger, too, but not until we talk."

"Ryon, I don't have the strength to handle this decision."

"I know... me either, but the beautiful thing is we can always try again."

"That's a possibility, but it's not a guarantee. I have feelings for you. I can't cross those lines knowing you're with Sibel."

"I can't either," I said. "I'm a married man," I told her, holding out my hand to show her the ring.

"You did what?" her eyes popped, looking from the band to my face.

"I'm not prepared to hurt her Fiona. I love her."

"Then... the decision has been made," she said.

"What?" I asked.

"I will terminate. I need you to hold my hands, but after that, I'm done."

"I will honor your request," I said, and she crawled into my arms and I hugged her tight.

Fiona and I talked for a few minutes and decided on a name for our son. We decided to offer him up and make all the necessary arrangements for a smooth transition for him.

It was after ten when I reached home that night, and Sibel wasn't there. Five tries to her cell phone were futile. I decided to take a shower and while changing my clothes I found a note from her.

"My dearest Ryon,
I sat propped up in bed, on the verge of going bonkers, my body hurt, and my heart was in turmoil as I took shallow breaths, I felt as if I was dying but it was my heart that hurt the most. You have shattered my heart into a million pieces, and the one question I want answers to I do not want to be answered. I thought when I cried in your arms this morning, it was enough for the both of us, but I see it did not fulfill you in the ways it did me. Writing this, I already realize I'll regret it forever. However, the joy you brought me was unlike anything I had ever experienced from any other man, and it came at a time when I needed it most. You brought out my best qualities simply by being yourself. I believed that our love would endure the test of time, and nothing could separate us, but it wasn't enough for you. the best thing for both of us is to part. I wish you the best of luck in your endeavors and family."

"Goodbye, Ryon... Don't bother to go looking for me."

"What? What is she talking about?" I dial her and time the number has been disconnected.

"I dial my security."

"Sir," Reggie answered.

"I need a Sibel location immediately."

"Sir, her sister dropped her off at Pure Dynasty she hasn't left since."

"What do you mean she hasn't left since? I was there all afternoon and Sibel wasn't there or came by."

"Sir, we follow her sister's car here, and we are still here."

"Reggie, I left there moments ago to take Fiona home. We saw you, sir, but madam did not leave."

I cut his call and dialed Shelia, my receptionist.

"Sir is everything alright," she answered.

"Did Ms. Benjimen visit today?"

"Yes, sir, I directed her to your office, and she left soon after."

"What time was that," I asked.

"Sir, a little after four," she said, and I knew for sure I was with Fiona.

Fuck my life. I fell to my knees.

The end.