Bucky Barnes Imagines Vol. 2

Unimportant Pt. 4 (Bucky Ending)

"It shouldn't take me leaving to get you to change, Bucky! I told you over and over how I felt. Did you think I'd let you treat me like I was an inconvenience to you for the rest of my life?"

"I didn't mean to make you feel like that. There was never a single second in our relationship that I didn't love or want you."

"Then why didn't you make me feel so fucking worthless?! You didn't want to spend time with me, touch me, kiss me." You stood from the bed and paced his room. "You wouldn't even fuck me, Bucky! It seemed like you were miserable with me."

"I wasn't miserable! Well, I was."

Your face contorted in shock at his words.

"B-but not because of you!" Bucky said quickly when he saw the look on your face.

He stood and came to stand in front of you. He reached for your hands, but you pulled away from him and crossed your arms.

"There was a lot going on in my head and my solution to the problem was to shut down. Just give me a chance to explain everything. I know I fucked up, but I want to fix us. I don't want to fight. Please, doll?"

"I didn't come here to argue with you, Bucky." You sighed and took a seat on the bed again. "It just still hurts and it sounds like you're trying to blame me."

Bucky sat beside you and took your left hand in both of his. This time you let him hold your hand as he started talking.

"And that's all on me. I'm not blaming you at all, Y/n. I just wish you would've talked to me so I could've pulled my head out of my ass and realized just how bad things were."

Bucky took a breath and then met your eyes.

"When I stopped therapy, I thought I was in a good place. I had a new lease on life. I was doing something good for once by working with the team and I had you. I was happier than I had ever been. But not long after I was cleared and stopped seeing my therapist, they started sending me on more difficult missions and I was getting stressed.

I missed you and the nightmares came back. I felt so drained when I got home that all I wanted to do was sleep. Then it started affecting our relationship because I was closing myself off, which made me feel even worse. I was scared I was going to disappoint Steve and the others and that you were going to leave me."

Bucky's eyes dropped to your hands and you felt a tear drop onto your skin. You started to see why he had pulled away from you and your anger was replaced with hurt for the man you loved.

"I felt lost and unworthy of everything good in my life. I let my thoughts take over and all I could worry about was how I thought I was failing the team because I wasn't focused, or how I was making you unhappy because I wasn't giving you everything you deserved."

Bucky's voice broke and your heart clenched a little tighter until you were silently crying beside him. You gently touched Bucky's face and made him look up at you. His cheeks were wet from crying and you felt his hands squeeze yours tighter when he saw your tears.

"Why didn't you come to me? I could've helped you." You said softly.

"I was afraid you'd think I was more trouble than I'm worth. I didn't want you to look at me and think that I was never going to get better. I wanted to be strong for you and try to handle it on my own. After a while the darkness felt so suffocating that I didn't think anyone could help me."

You watched as Bucky's body shuddered and all you wanted was to hold him. To tell him that he didn't need to suffer alone. The whole time he was fighting the demons inside his head, you thought he had fallen out of love with you.

"I thought you hated me, Bucky. You seemed so happy around everyone else. The night I left, I saw you smiling with Steve and Sam at Tony's party. Then some women joined you and you were laughing. You looked happier with them than you had looked in months." You sniffled and dropped your eyes away from his.

"It was all an act, doll. All of it. I was drowning, but I was trying to hide it." Bucky took your face in his hands and forced your gaze back to his.

"I was going to take you on a date the weekend after the party and talk to you about everything that had been going on, but then you left. I tried finding you, but Tony and Nat wouldn't give me any information about where you were. Steve and Sam even tried helping me, but we just hit dead end after dead end."

"I didn't think you'd look for me. I thought you'd be happier without me. I just—I wanted you to be happy, Bucky."

Bucky scooted closer to you and stroked your cheeks with his thumbs.

"You make me happy, Y/n. When you left it felt like I was dying. I'm so sorry, doll. Please forgive me. I love you so much and I don't know how to live without you."

You gripped Bucky's wrists tightly as a sob broke free from your lips. He pulled you into a tight hug, burying his face into your neck and holding you while you cried on his shoulder. His touch felt right. Your body buzzed with life for the first time in months. Your sobs calmed and your tears stopped, but you didn't let go of him.

"I never stopped loving you, Bucky, but I'm scared." You whispered against his shirt.

"I know, doll. I promise I'll prove to you that you are my entire world. Living without you isn't an option and I know I won't get another chance if I screw up again." Bucky leaned back to look at you as he continued.

"I've started therapy again and I swear I'll talk to you if I ever start having those thoughts again. I know it's just words right now, but I'm ready to do whatever it takes to have the life I've always imagined with you. Will you give me a second chance to show you just how important you are to me?"

You bit down on your bottom lip as tears began lining your eyes again. Saying yes terrified you, but the alternative was walking away from the only man you could envision a future with. You sucked in a deep breath and locked eyes with Bucky as you answered him.

"Yes." You whispered.

"Yes?" Bucky's lips turned up in the corners as a smile parted his lips.

"Yes." You nodded with a shy smile. "But this is the only chance I'm giving you."

"It's the only one I need, doll."

Bucky leaned forward and pressed his lips firmly against yours. An electric current shot through your body and heat pooled in your stomach as his lips moved against yours slowly, but with more passion than ever before. He pulled away from you and pressed a kiss to each of your cheeks, the tip of your nose, and then your forehead.

"Thank you for not giving up on me." He said and pulled you into another hug.

Hope blossomed in your chest that this time would be different and you wouldn't have to second-guess Bucky's love for you. In that moment you knew you were important and you were loved by the man who held your heart.

A/N: As the title states, this is Bucky's ending. If you aren't interested in Xander's ending, feel free to skip the next part.