Desire's & Fate

Chapter 24

"Is that what this is about?" I interrupted him.

"There's a lot more...baby, I promise it will all make sense, I promise you. Sibel... I never did romance. I thought I was incapable of it but with you... with you, I want it all. I'm incapable of staying away from you." He said and trailed his thumb along my lip, removing it between my teeth

"I guess I understand, but I'm not sure my mother would," I said, doubt still floating in the pit of my stomach with all the other unanswered questions. Whatever happened to dating, being engaged, then getting married and having kids? Why was this man in such a hurry?

I was doing this without my family. Big achievements were never celebrated without my mom's presence. The woman might kill me if she found out.

I was getting married before I completed university. That... I never saw that one coming.

I was getting married at a registry! Shocker!

And I was going to be a wife in secret or his secret wife.

This is our secret for now. The right time for our engagement will be announced. All the necessary plans will be made, he had said.

But when I dreamt of my wedding day, it was centered around my prince charming, a fairy tale with only happily ever after. Ever since I was ten years old and found a wedding magazine in my mom's cabin with a beautiful vintage Vera Wang iconic silk chiffon dress. I just knew I was going to be a princess sailing off into the sunset with my prince charming.

When I saw the way my father looked at my mother and caught them on many occasions, swaying to dead silence my faith in all things, love could never be shaken. I held on to my desires all through my twenty-two years on this earth and it was affirmed when the only man I was convinced God had created just for me, stole my heart at seventeen years old, and in return, I took his. And yes, I wanted his last name, but I wanted it in front of the entire world, especially Fiona.

Now, at twenty-two, all of my fairytale desires and fate had led me to the registry in a plain satin dress and more questions than answers.

Yesterday, this time, I was in a classroom taking part in my final exam, and today at... I quickly glanced at the dashboard timer, seeing it was twenty minutes to nine, and we should get inside. How could life change so quickly even if I was marrying the man I love, the man I had given myself to without a doubt? The man I was sure I wanted his last name with every breath. How could it all change so quickly?

Something wasn't right, and I didn't need my gut to tell me this. It wasn't just the withheld information that left me unsettled knowing this man and guarding his reaction. I think there is TROUBLE spelled in all caps. He never acts on impulse, and we both know this.

I guess we will have to figure it out. We were getting married in mere minutes, and that wasn't going to change.

I checked my reflection in the mirror one last time, and despite my fears, I couldn't deny how I felt his heart beating when we made love. I can't deny the way I felt when his body touched mine. I certainly can't deny how I felt so weak and turned to mush in his embrace. I've never felt so weak before Never met a man, so sure of how and when and where to touch, and just how much.

I couldn't get over the strange feeling, though. Something was going on that he wouldn't say, and I was a little outraged at myself. I was entitled to feel outraged, wasn't I? More so because of the very last-minute decision to wake up the next morning to be wed at the registry. A bride shouldn't have to be this confused on her wedding day.

I took a deep breath, inhaled deep, and exhaled the entire breath. If he said it would make sense, then I have to believe it would. I couldn't tell where that thought came from, if it was the butterflies in my stomach or the doom at the bottom of it but whatever it was, it made everything seem better even if it was just for a few seconds.