My First Everything

The Beginning

In middle school I wasn't the ordinary kid. I was more on the unknown side and mostly stayed to myself. I became close with about 3 people who were my friends Jailyn, Tamia, and Desire.

We were all like the bests of friends, we did everything together like sitting at the same table, or being around each other, making a fool of ourselves, and going everywhere together.

Lol yea, that didn't last very long. I soon fell out with them because popularity got the best of them. The thing about it is they never excluded themselves from me, you can just tell we were growing apart from each other and wouldn't be the same anymore.

Now I've just been alone. No one to hang with, no one to laugh with, no one to talk to, not even anyone to cry with.

Later on in middle school I lost someone who meant the most to me and I DEFINITELY didn't have anyone that I could go to after it felt like everyone had turned their backs on me and just forgot about me.

No one bothered to check on me and because of that I fell into this dark hole that was too deep that I couldn't escape from. It felt like I was going to be like this forever.

I felt hurt, sadness, disbelief, distress, and depressed. I had never felt so useless and broken in my life and knowing that I was unable to rewind tore me apart in ways that I couldn't explain.

I felt that I had no one to run to after I had grew apart from the people that meant most to me. I wasn't the only person grieving so I couldn't really talk to any of my family about it without sounding selfish or being rude.

During this time I really lost myself and who I wanted to be. I became very unhappy and unusual. I started dressing in all black. Not wanting to converse or be around anyone and anything.

I stayed in my room just sleeping and eating. School was rough too, walking around the hallways trying to act like I was ok when it was obvious that I was not.

Later on I started to talk to new people and explore new personalities. I became friends with this girl named Amira and her so called brother named Adrian.

The 3 of us were always together, we were basically erectable together. Amira was having relationships problems while Adrian was always there for her. I had always admired how much he cared for her, it was adorable.

I realized my admiration for him was growing and wasn't just based on how he treats and care for Amira. I started wondering if he was to care for me the same way.

I never really told anyone that I had started developing a crush on him because based on what I'd heard or seen, he was known for the wrong things meaning I should stay away from him.