Leave me alone (bxb)

Chapter 9

Kieran

Me, Finn, Aiden and Becca were sitting outside of school, smoking. We had a break and we're over 18, so the teachers didn't care. Even tho they should've, since we were still on the school ground. But they didn't, and I was glad for that. I really needed to catch a break from my thoughts.

He's all I've been thinking about.

This whole time I thought I was straight. Now I was having second thoughts. I was never, like, homophobic or anything. I just never wanted to be part of the community. Because my dad..

Kie.

He always has bad things to say about it. For example, I think his favorite is, gay men are not real men. Yea, he says that a lot.

Kie.

But what's calms me down a little is that even if I was actually gay, I know for a fact that Hazel and mom would accept me. Me and my mom never talked about it directly, but whenever my dad says something really mean, she defends the LGBT community.

And Hazel always asks me if I finally got a girlfriend or a boyfriend. She's sweet.

"Kie!"

I snapped my head up and saw all three of them, looking at me. It was Aiden who called out my name. I think.

"What?" I mumbled.

"What's going on with you, man?" Aiden asked, concerned. Both Finn and Becca had the same look of concern in their eyes.

"Nothing... everything is fine." I can't just tell them that I was having a sexual identity crisis right now.

I mean, theoretically, I could.

But I think it's too soon. I just figured out that I wanted to kiss Damien. That didn't immediately mean I was gay, right?

Even though, it would explain why I never really enjoyed sex. I never understood why everyone says sex is, like, the best thing ever.

Oh, God. Was that why? Was it because I might be gay?

"Yeah and I'm the president of the United States." Said Becca with a frown. "Which we all know is impossible in this country, since I'm a black woman. So spill the beans." she twirled a braid around her finger.

They were my friends. I could tell them something. Maybe not the whole truth, which I didn't even know myself, but something.

"Well... there's..." I trailed off. But they waited patiently.

"There's a..." I couldn't say it. "..certain person, who's making me confused."

They all opened their mouths in shock.

"Oh. My. God. There's actually a girl who's making your little head spin?" Finn asked, excitedly.

Not exactly a girl. That's the problem.

"Shut up. I shouldn't have told you anything." I started walking off. Our cigarettes were long gone by now.

But then Aiden caught my wrist and tugged me back.

"What's her name?" Becca asked with genuine excitement.

I can see why they're happy. I've never been serious about anyone. But his name is, unfortunately, the one and only, Damien Hayes.

"I won't tell you." I said with a fake grin.

"Okay, okay, smartass. We will pry it out of you sooner or later anyway." Said Finn as he clapped me on the back.