Not So Happy Campers

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[The episode starts at a camp called "Camp Wawanakwa," somewhere located at Muskoka, Ontario, where a host named Chris McLean introduces himself.]

Chris: Yo, we're coming at you live from Camp Wawanakwa somewhere in Muskoka, Ontario, I'm your host, Chris McLean, dropping season one of the hottest reality show on television right now. Here's the deal. Twenty-four campers have signed up to spend eight weeks right here at this crummy old summer camp, they'll compete in challenges against each other then have to face the judgement of their fellow campers. Every three days, one team will either win a reward or watch one of their team members walk down the Dock of Shame, take a ride on the loser boat, [he laughs] and leave Total Drama Island for good. Their fate will be decided here at the dramatic campfire ceremonies where each week all but one camper will receive one marshmallow. [Chris grabs a marshmallow with a stick, he eats it then he throws the stick away] In the end, only one will be left standing and will be rewarded with cheesy tabloid fame and a small [holds a tiny treasure chest] fortune which let's face it, they'll probably blow in a week. To survive, they'll have to battle [a bear tries to shoo the flies] black flies, [a grizzly bear roars] grizzly bears, disgusting camp food...

Grub: Hey now.

Chris: ...and each other. [A bird and her babies chirp or sing beside a camera] Every moment will be caught on of the hundreds of cameras situated all over the camp. Who will crumble under the pressure? Find out right here, right now on Total...Drama...Island.

[The theme song plays.]

♪Dear Mom and Dad I'm doin' fine, you guys are on my mind, you asked me what I wanted to be and I think the answer is plain to see, I wanna be famous ♪ ♪I wanna live close to the sun. Go pack your bags cause I've already won, everything to prove nothing in my way, I'll get there one day. Cause I wanna be famous. ♪ Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na! I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous, I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous♪ (Whistling in tune)

Chris: Welcome back to Total Drama Island, all right, it's time to meet our first 12 campers, we told them they'd all be staying at this five-star resort so, if they seemed a little T.O.-ed, that's probaly why. [Beth arrives] Beth, what's up? [Beth arrives and hugs Chris]

Beth: [with braces] It's so incredulous to meet you. Wow, you're much shorter in real life. [She waves at the auidence]

Chris: Uh, thanks. [DJ arrives] DJ.

DJ: Yo, Chris McLean, how's it going? Hey, you sure you got the right place here? Where's the hot tub at?

Chris: Yo, dawg, this is it, Camp Wawanakwa.

[DJ lifts his luggage, he does not look happy.]

DJ: Hmph, looked a lot different on the application form.

[Gwen arrives.]

Chris: Hey, Gwen.

Gwen: You mean we're staying here?

Chris: No, your staying here, my crib is an airstream with AC that-a-way.

Gwen: [not happy] I did not sign up for this.

Chris: Actually, you did. [Gwen rips her contract and smiles gladfully] The great thing about lawyers is they make lots of copies. [Chris takes out alot of copies]

Gwen: I am not staying here.

Chris: Cool, I hope you can swim though, [Gwen's boat leaves] because your ride just left. [Gwen's boat honks]

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