The Rockstar & The Balladeer : A SandAyan Story

Chapter 15: Anger is a Bad Adviser

"Then why is he not communicating with me at all?" I asked, sounding whiny even to my ears.

"It's ridiculously cute to see this side of the bad boy rockstar... whiny, insecure boyfriend. Don't show this to anyone else though, you'll lose your popularity," Vi is clutching her stomach laughing.

"Vi!" I begged her to at least answer me, I don't care if she's laughing.

"Because you said to come back when he's ready. If he hasn't sorted things out with this ex of his then he isn't ready. Sand you made that ridiculous condition," Vi said simply.

"What? You're saying he is ghosting me because of what I said?" I uttered in complete disbelief.

"It's possible. I mean if this boy thinks you are a mature man who says things like he means them, then he has taken to heart what you said. He probably hasn't seen you whining like this," Vi continued laughing. "It's a two way street you know, you could have asked him how things are or something, you also ghosted him technically. You were the one who left," she said simply.

"I wonder if Aye paid you," I said pouting, scratching my head in disbelief.

"Who?!" She startled, looking at my face.

"Uh my boyfriend. His nickname is Aye," I said sheepishly.

"That sounds familiar. Who have I heard call someone that?" Vi got lost in her thoughts and I was actually afraid she'd figure out it was Ayan because she had probably heard Thua call him that.

"Anyway... so you think I'm overthinking and being dramatic over this?" I asked.

"No Sand. Of course not. Your feelings are valid. You have a right to feel bad about this of course. It's not even 6 days, or 6 weeks. 6 months is a long time. All I'm trying to say here is that you both decided on this. You both agreed to give each other time and space. It does suck on your side not knowing how things are standing between you now but you yourself did not set a time limit and neither did he. How would he or you know it would take this long? All I want to say is, it always helps to talk. Talk it out first before you jump into any conclusions. You're no longer a teenager, you're an adult. Tackle your relationship like one. While it's ego healing or boosting to make it hard for this Aye because you suffered for months, I prefer you be the kind man that I know you are and take the mature approach. Loving someone means we try to understand them and what they need. While it's common for people to tell you to walk away, he hurt you and he is probably toxic for you, I don't agree. Loving someone means putting their happiness first. if you've never completely let someone have this much power over you, you've probably never really been in love. Besides, it's not selfish to take time to heal. if he needed this time and space, the only thing you have to figure out is if you can understand that or not," She explains in a very calm way.

I was quietly contemplating what she said. She is right. I did decide to give Aye the time and space he wanted. It's not really his fault its taking him so long. All I could control is how I feel and decide to react to the situation. Am I really going to be okay if Aye comes back to me now? After 6 long, lonely, uncertain months?

"Sand, would you like him to stop you from going on tour eventually because he will feel bad about it? No right? And that won't be a bad thing because you might love him but you have your own life too. It'll be hard on him. Tours take years and your time together will be sparse, plus groupies, infidelity and sex is pretty common in any touring band. But if he loves you, he'll understand that this is your life and dream. He'll have to trust you enough to let you go. Basically that's a mirror of your current situation with him. Do you trust him? Do you love him enough to let him do what he needs to do to be happy?  " Vi said as she took a cigarette and offered me one, knowing my mind was in overdrive. Gratefully smiling as I lit my own and then hers with my lighter.