coffee on lexington avenue | phillipa soo

twenty

Repost because this got deleted for some reason??? 😭 (If some parts are missing, then IDK that's gone forever because I have no clue where that final draft went)

Despite everything, I make sure to be there on the afternoon of Olivia's talent show.

Tucked in my arm, a dressed-up brown teddy bear that I'd bought as a break-a-leg gift for Olivia. I'd spent hours going from store to store this morning trying to look for baby clothes that might fit the stuffed bear, refusing to get anything less than perfect for the vision I had in my head for it- eventually, I found exactly what I was looking for, a red top and sweater, along with a little plaid skirt.

It was perfect - my heart leapt as I finally dressed it up in the clothes I'd bought, each from different stores- it looked just like a little Amelie. In the back of the card still attached to the bear's ear, I'd written:

They say times are hard for dreamers but they won't be hard for you. I love you forever, my little Livbug!!!

Love, Pippa

I couldn't wait to give it to Olivia, couldn't wait to see the look on her face when she finally saw me again, when she finally sees the gift I'd come with. The thought of the joy that I was so certain I would see in her eyes eased the guilt that still weighed heavy in my heart from the last time I'd seen her, though I constantly tried desperately not to think about that day.

I don't find a seat immediately in the school's packed auditorium. Instead, equipped with a pair of brown sunglasses and a blue mask covering my face and mouth to be absolutely certain no one recognizes me, I wander aimlessly through the unfamiliar halls.
Eventually, I decide Im lost and give in, stopping a lady that looked like a teacher, an ID sling with the school's logo patterned all across it hanging from her neck.

"Excuse me, hi, do you mind telling me how to get backstage of the auditorium? I um..." I try to come up with a lie so I don't sound too suspicious for visiting a bunch of nervous kids waiting to perform, but as I say it, it doesn't feel too much like a lie at all, my heart filling a little with pride as the words leave my mouth, "My daughter is performing today and I just wanted to tell her good luck before getting a seat."

The lady smiles. "Just go straight that way, turn all the way to the left and you're there." She pauses then, eyeing the teddy bear in my arms. "Who's your daughter?"

I shift nervously in place. "Oh, her name's Olivia?"
"You mean Olivia Clark?" Her smile seems to grow even wider.

"Yeah,"

"Olivia's in my English class. Smart, sweet girl.
Writes the best papers in her entire year. You should be proud."

I find myself smiling as well, remembering all the nights I'd sit with Olivia, reading over each essay for her on her laptop, adding in a few lines here and there, "I am proud of her. Very much so."

"Well, you should be on your way. The show is starting soon. Tell Olivia good luck for me."
"I will." I give her one last smile and a wave, before following her directions, finally finding myself backstage.

I scan the kids scattered all around, looking for my Olivia. Eventually, I spot her in the far corner, sitting quietly by herself, gnawing anxiously at her lower lip. She's wearing the dress I'd helped her pick out, bright red with puffed sleeves, her dark hair tied up in two braids down her back.

My heart soars. I hadnt seen her in almost a week, and I missed this sweet girl so badly. I rush over to her, pulling my sunglasses up to my hair, tucking my mask below my chin so she sees it's me. "Livvie!"