coffee on lexington avenue | phillipa soo

one

Why was all of the coffee on Lexington Avenue so horrid?

I glare at the cup in my hands, debating on giving it another chance. Maybe I'm being dramatic. Maybe it's not that bad.

I brace myself for another sip, stopping in my tracks to prepare myself. The hot, stale stream of acrid brown liquid makes me scowl subconsciously as it passes my tongue, forcing its way down my throat. Yep, it was, in fact, that bad.

Billie, my dog, has turned to look up at me impatiently, tugging her leash taut against my wrist. She barks twice, urging me to keep walking.

"Don't get all sassy with me, young lady," I say to her, "It's your fault, you know- Why I have to spend ten hard earned dollars on bad coffee every morning."

It was true. Billie always insisted on including Lexington Avenue on the routes of our morning walks. She refused to take any detours. It was always straight to Lexington Avenue and their myriad of bad coffee shops. Otherwise, I got an earful of barking and whining, which I just am not strong enough to deal with at 6 in the morning.

I always said that it was my husband that spoiled her this much, giving in to Billie's every whim. When Billie barked at him, begging to be out the door by 6 AM, he gave in. When Billie wanted more food, he gave in. Treats and new toys? No problem. Chewing up my jogging shoes or getting muddy footprints all over my favorite custom-made dress? Don't be dramatic, he'd insist, Billie doesn't know any better, it's your fault for leaving it somewhere she could reach.

"Look at her, Steve. You've created a little demon," I joked once, We were on the couch in front of the fire place, watching Billie gnaw on a twenty-dollar stuffed squeaker toy that Steve had insisted on getting her. "You've spoiled her rotten."

Steve laughed lightheartedly, draping an arm around me to pull me close, before he finally murmurs a few words that he knows will make my heart drop to my stomach. "Well, it's because you don't want to give me a daughter- who else will I spoil except the dog?"

Anyway, now that he was out of town filming a TV show, it's been just Billie and me, and of course, I've had to pick up his responsibility of taking care of the dog. This includes walking the dog at 6 in the morning every day- though, with how much Steve had gotten Billie used to leading the way, it was more the dog walking me than me walking the dog.

And so, these last few mornings have allowed me to try the many different cafés lined along Lexington Avenue, just for my coffee fix. None of it was ever good. It was always either too bitter, too stale, and sometimes it just straight up tasted like burnt dog shit. To be fair, I could always make my own coffee at home, but not when I had to have my ass out the door by 6 AM, as per the demands of my husband's little princess.

Besides the coffee, I really didn't like Lexington Avenue in particular. It was too much, too loud, because there were too many people, too many cars, too much dog-shit coffee.

Even in the mornings, when all I want is peace and quiet alone, I'll feel a phone camera pointed subtly at me, making me squirm as I try to pretend not to see. Sometimes the flash will go off and it's embarrassing for both of us. Some days, at least one person just has to come up to me to take a selfie, sometimes, try to make me record a video for their cousin or other, and then leave me, sitting on a bench, trying to slow my heart and my breaths, regaining my bearings after having to interact with a complete stranger.

Steve always said I should just get a grip- It's just people- it's not like I don't perform for crowds and crowds of them every night. I guess he's right.

But that's beside the point. Lexington Avenue just made me feel on edge, like the pavement was made of thin ice and I didn't know for certain if every step I took would lead to a plunge into icy water or not. And today, I had fallen victim to the Sub Rosa Cafe. I had also gotten a macadamia nut cookie from there, which now I didn't have much hope for.