coffee on lexington avenue | phillipa soo

sixteen

Breakfast is only bearable because Olivia fills the silence, struggling desperately to distract us. Evie and I try our best to play along, but the last words we'd shouted in each others face still linger in the air, and every movement feels heavy and awkward, and its far too obvious that we're both trying a little too hard not to look at each other.

My stomach turns continuously with anxiety, making me dizzy and nauseous. I poke absently at my food with a fork, my appetite completely gone. My plate still remains untouched even as Olivia and Evie finish.

"Liv, why don't you go watch something on TV, huh?" Evie says immediately after Olivia appears to have finished her breakfast. Olivia looks displeased by this, alternating her cautious gaze between me and her mother, as though she were observing bombs about to explode. "I saw there's a new episode out of that one anime thing that you like on Netflix—"

"But I usually wash the dishes after—"

"We can handle it today, okay, honey?" Evie says, forcing on a small smile. "Go and watch your show."

Olivia looks to me, eyes conflicted, as if afraid that Evie and I will both strangle each other the second she takes her eyes off of either of us. "But mom—"

"Go, Liv," Evie says in her mom-voice, a finality in her tone that makes Olivia finally sigh in defeat. "Turn up the volume as loud as you want, alright? Go on."

My stomach turns again with anxiety as Olivia leaves Evie and I alone. The air feels hot and sticky, even more awkward than before. I still don't look at Evie, though now I can feel her watching me.

"You barely touched your food." Evie points out.

I ignore her, getting up now to put the used plates away.

"Oh no you don't. Put your plate back down and eat." She hisses at me, careful not to raise her voice now with Olivia in the living room, standing as well now to stop me. I realize she's using the mom-voice she uses with Olivia. It makes my head grow hot with anger again.

"For god's sake, I'm not a child—"

"Look, I know you're upset but you have to eat something, Pippa. You're eating for two, I hope you remember." She says pointedly, taking her own and Olivia's empty plates and utensils off the table.

"Leave me alone. I really don't have the stomach for it, Evie—"

"You're being so damn stubborn about an egg and a pancake, Pippa." Evie shoots me a look, narrowed eyes filled with fire. "Just sit down and eat. I'm not talking to you until you finish that plate." She raises an eyebrow at me when I roll my eyes. "What? Just because I'm pissed off at you doesn't mean I don't still care about your damn health. Sit down."

We stare each other down for a few long moments. I realize I'm not winning this. Not against Evie and the fire in her eyes.

My stomach turning as I grit my teeth, I sit back down at the table in front of my plate. "Fine. But if I end up throwing it all up anyway—"

She rolls her eyes at me as she puts her and Olivia's plates in the sink. "I really don't care, Pippa. Eat."

"And your prenatal vitamins. Don't forget." She walks over to the far end of the kitchen counter, where I keep my vitamins now, and places the bottles in front of me on the table. "Go on."