Guilty | Woosan 18+

21 🔞

W o o y o u n g.
My eyes felt tired and heavy yet my body felt relaxed from the good sleep I was able to catch. It was the first time I actually caught a good amount of sleep and not too little.

Guilt was haunting me since day one. I couldn't even imagine a day without thinking about all the touches and kisses San and I had shared within these few days.

I was officially a cheater and there was no way I could denial it any longer. I needed to clear my head. I needed to find out what I wanted.

Did I want the puppy like nice guy or the cruel and cold business man? Was this even a choice? Was I actually in the position to make a god damn decision between two mature man?

Don't even think you have the right to choose between them. It's cruel to think that a cheater would even get a choice. If Felix knew about this, he wouldn't even looked at you anymore.

I haunted myself with thoughts like these. It almost felt like I wanted to make myself feel bad. But I needed to do such things. I needed to do it to feel guilty because of my actions. Simply because it wasn't the right thing to do

"Are you alright?" Felix's voice made me flinch. He stood right in front of the bed, slowly getting dressed whilst watching me waking up with a concerned and sad face.
You can't act like this or else he'll sense something. Keep it together Wooyoung.

I nodded and tried to force a little smile. "I just dreamed very weird things, you know" I tried to convince him of the little lie that came across my lips, again. Never in my life I lied this much to a person. Especially when the person really didn't deserve such cruel lies

"You're cute" Felix said and smiled a little whilst folding some shirts that he apparently didn't chose for his outfit today. I looked at him. His blonde hair suited him very well, it almost looked natural. His freckles made him appear innocent and in contrast to that his voice made him appear more mature and sexy.

Felix was great. He was handsome, clever, funny and cute. But why didn't he make my heart flutter when we kissed? Why wasn't he able to make me laugh? Why wasn't he attentive towards my passions?

"I wondered if we could join some friends of mine. They wanted to party at a club downtown and are begging me to finally introduce you to them" the boy smiled widely. More friends. More people I need to lie to. More stress.

I only nodded as an answer trying to act like I was still tired. Felix smiled and leaned over in oder to kiss my cheek softly before he left the room in order to take a shower and get ready. He left me confused yet sure about the fact that my heart didn't flutter when he just touched me

I bit my lip. Knowing that San was basically only next door made me feel excited. I shouldn't have felt that way but the affaire I started gave me a feeling of unlimited excitement with a hint of need and passion.