Heart Full of Stars

~Chapter 4~

Me and Rowan are sat in our favourite cafe, The Combination, we are just chatting about everything and nothing at the same time and it feels great for once just to be thinking about nothing than chatting with my best friend. I smile to the person across the counter, giving them a small tip and then thanking them for their service while Rowan slips on her coat. We step outside, a cool breeze blows past and I shiver as I slide my hands into the pockets of my jacket, we make our way to the bench that we usually sit on, looking over the lake. Rowan and I sit in comfortable silence for a few minutes, I sit fiddling with my rings like I usually do and she sits peacefully with a small smile dressing her lips.

My breath catches in my throat and I suddenly find myself questioning "can I talk to you about something?" She raises an eyebrow, turning to me "Um sure, what is it Mat?". I clear my throat. "I um don't think I like guys" She chuckles and shrugs "You can't give up that easy Mat, maybe you just haven't found the one for you". "No, no that's not what I meant" I look down at my hands, tears welling up in my eyes as she scoots closer putting a hand on my thigh. "Hey what's wrong?! Come on talk to your bestie" she says with a slight smile. "I-I think I might be gay Ro" I exhale and look out across the lake, wiping at my cheeks. "Oh Matty, that's okay I don't think of you any different, you know that and I will love and support you no matter what" her smile grows and she swings her arm around my shoulders. I bury my face into her shoulder and she rubs mine back. I speak up "I just don't want everything to change, I don't want people and my auntie to look at me differently, I'm absolutely terrified to be like this Rowan" a slight tremble slips into my tone. "Everything will be fine Mat, you're finding out who you are, you are still young and have time to experiment and discover your true self" I smile up at her and she beams back at me. "I'm so lucky to have you as my best friend, thank you Panda" she squeezes my hand "anytime Sunshine, as long as you don't try any freaky shit" she jokes and I laugh slightly.

Rowan calls an Uber and we hop in, she gets dropped off at her place and the driver takes me a bit further to mine, I jump out thanking him as I shut the door. After I get in the front door, I slump down on the sofa and whip out my phone, opening tinder like normal.

 I start casually swiping and nobody catches my eye for once but then I swipe and stumble across this profile- Jeanna, 18, less than a mile away, open for anything, not that experienced iykwim 😉just a swipe away :)). For once, I swipe right and a few moments later, I get a notification It's A Match!! I smirk to myself, quickly opening the chat:

Matty

Hey, how's it going ?

She quickly replies

Jeanna

I'm good sweetie, how are you?

Matty

Good now that I've come across you ;) How do you fancy meeting tonight?

I type without thinking, my heart beating fast, was that a bit forward? How is she going to respond?

Jeanna

Of course, can I come to yours, want to get away from my parents for a bit :)

Matty

Sounds good, I'll send you my address and see you around 6?

Jeanna

I'll be there 6 on the dot, wear something nice ;)

I smile to myself, putting my phone down next to me and crossing my arms over my chest. This might be the night.