Kings of the World: Last Coors Banquet Series Part 3 | Lawrusso

Kings of the World Chapter 11/15

"How do you know all this shit?" Robby asked.

"I learnt it from your dad," Miguel said. "He knows everything there is to know about zombies."

"People keep telling me that, yeah," Robby replied.

"It's true," Miguel said. "Everyone in that house owes their life to Johnny. He's saved us all."

"So he's good at killing zombies," Robby said. "Big deal."

"Oh, Johnny isn't just good. He's literally the best zombie killer in the world."

Robby rolled his eyes. "Yeah, right."

"You don't believe me?" Miguel asked, a smile playing about his lips. Robby had known Johnny all these years, and he still couldn't see just how awesome he was. He couldn't wait until the day Robby actually got to see Johnny in action.

"My dad couldn't even manage to get himself out of bed when he was supposed to be visiting me half the time," Robby said. "So yeah, not exactly believing all this."

"OK, let me tell you a story," Miguel said. "A week or so before they found you, we heard a noise outside. It's a zombie, but it's like no zombie we've ever seen before. This thing was about 7 feet tall, and it was wearing football gear. I mean it was built like a tank anyway, but it was wearing the full protective uniform, helmet and everything. So Johnny goes outside with nothing but his gloves and his jacket, no weapons or anything, and we all stood behind the gate. We watched as he took that thing apart with just his hands."

"Bullshit," Robby said.

"I'm not making it up. He brought it down, then he broke one of its legs. They have a hard time moving after that because they literally don't understand their leg is broken, so they still keep trying to get up. Then he snapped off both its arms at the elbow."

"OK, now I know you're lying," Robby interrupted. "You can't just snap someone's arms off like that."

"As zombies age their bones begin to get brittle and dry out. Makes them really easy to break," Miguel said. "Didn't you know that?"

"No," Robby said, shaking his head.

"I suppose you believe the bullshit myths that zombies can see in the dark too?" Miguel asked with a snorting laugh.

"Knock it off," Robby said, giving Miguel a half hearted shove in the shoulder. "How did my dad kill the big zombie?"

"It was still trying to stand up on its broken leg and falling over, so he let it flop around for a while until it landed on its stomach. After that it was easy. He grabbed the metal face guard at the front of the helmet then twisted its head round until the neck snapped. The head was probably still alive inside the helmet, but it couldn't bite anyone after that so we just burnt it the next day."

"Jesus," Robby said.

"Yeah, I told you," Miguel said, as he walked towards the door. "Johnny is the best zombie killer in the world. Now, I'm not saying I'm anywhere near as good as him, but he's taught me a lot. That said, you better hope there's not many in here or we might be in trouble."

"How are we going to do this?" Robby asked. "Have you got a plan?"

"Clearing a building is a two person job. One lets a zombie out, the other kills it," Miguel said, as he held his hand out. "We need to make some noise and attract the loose ones towards us. You can hold the door, but it's a big responsibility, OK. If you don't close that door at the right time and let more than one through, then we both wind up dead."