Sussy Secrets

Entry 4

Dear diary,

Bob is a ho. I hate him so much right now. Earlier today him and I went to Home Depot and got some spray paint and wooden boards. Then we proceeded to spray paint stuff like "Press SHIFT to run" on them. Then we went into abandoned buildings, old houses, and even the woods to display them in random places 'cause we wanted to do a little trolling because funny haha. Well we just so happen to come across this eerie cabin. So of course we go and investigate it, 'cause why not? It could be an interesting story to tell. As we got closer we saw a witch outside, collecting some weird looking berries. She greets us, tells us we look like some fine gentleman, and she's not wrong. I AM a Tumblr Sexyman after all. Bob was VERY debatable though. Anyways, she invites us inside her cabin and tells us that she's making some kind of potion. I forgot what it was, but it was still pretty freakin cool. Now keep in mind, Bob and I were still feeling a little silly from earlier. Bob especially. Now what does Bob do? The idiot wrecks a lot of her work, including the potion she was making because he saw a rat. And of course, she gets pissed. I mean I would too if someone did that to my stuff, I don't blame her. So yeah, she gets pissed, and turns Bob into a Ferret as punishment. A really ugly Ferret. But apparently that wasn't enough since she was mad at me too. Probably because I brought Bob along in the first place. Though since I didn't do as much damage as Bob, she gives me a lighter punishment by turning my hair BRIGHT FUCKING PINK. She's still angry and yelling, and I decide it's about time to get out of there. So I grab Bob and just leave. I put Bob in a box with a note and left him at Boopkin's place 'cause I really don't know what to do with him. I also ordered some black hair dye to fix the mess that is now my hair. Pink looks absolutely TERRIBLE on me. This is so embarrassing. If anyone finds out about this I will literally die in a puddle of shame. Seriously, what the fuck, Bob?! Why did you have to be a dick?! I'm not gonna be able to go outside looking like this! I didn't deserve this! At least Eggdog still thinks I'm handsome. Hopefully I can convince the witch to fix my hair if this spell lasts forever. Bob can stay as a Ferret though. He deserves it.