I Would Want To See You One Last Time.

Piece 20 (Sired Maria Part 1)

          I look up at the ceiling, still not moving my body. The anger and hatred slowly rise in me. The anger towards the man I'm in the same house as. I'll never say a word to him, I swore to myself.

          Assuming it's been a couple of weeks since I've gotten here because I'm hungry. During one of our one-sided conversations, he told me I'd get hungry in a few weeks after turning. Although, I'll need to feed once every three to four days in the future. It seems like the blood he forced me to drink from him subdued me for a while.

           The hunger hits me like a brick in the stomach. My eyes shoot open. I throw the sheets off of me and swing my legs over the side of the bed. Standing on trembling legs and slowly making my way to the door. As I put a hand on the doorknob, I look to my left; a mirror reflecting my face. My black and red eyes, eyelids, and irritated red thin red with veins spiking in my skin. My mouth feels dry, even though I'm almost drooling from the corners of my mouth. Lips chapt and crack. I try to lick them but my tongue is dry. I look at the scabs on my neck in the shape of a bite. It looks infected. My hair is knotted in a rat's nest, and parts of my hair are clumped due to dried blood.

            Shutting my eyes hard, I turn my head away from the mirror, disgusted at the sight of what I've become. What I was forced into becoming. When I open my eyes, my hands look like they've been dyed black. Nails gone sharp. Flinching my arm back slightly and sucking in a sharp breath, I stare at them for a few moments. Rubbing my hands on my shirt, nothing comes off. The more I stare at them, the more I realize I can see the thin shadows spreading up my arm. I put my hand on the doorknob, ripping the door open.

           I've wandered all over this house. My drooling is getting worse, I keep on having to wipe my mouth. The dryness has spread down to my throat. My vision is starting to get blotchy and blurry. My head starts to hurt and twist with pain. I hold onto the railing on the stairs and hold my head in my free hand. Shutting my eyes hard, my ears start to ring again. This time, they start to hurt. It feels like they're bleeding. I sit down on a stair and cover my ears. With my knees to my chest, I put my head between them. The ringing starts to sound like chimes.

          Laughter is bubbling up in my chest through the pain. I'm digging my nails into my scalp, but it doesn't hurt. My hands trembling. Ears still screaming.

          I stand up quickly on two feet. It all goes quiet. My eyes scan around the room, alone. My vision is clear again. Grabbing onto the railing again, I take one step at a time down the stairs. My head feels empty and my hands start to hurt. Eyes feeling dry. When I reach the bottom of the stairs, I go into the kitchen.

          My stomach feels like a pit as I open the pantry. Nothing. My eyes land on some fruit in a bowl on the counter. Apples. I rush over to them as if they'd run off and immediately start eating them. Picking up two, one in each hand, take several bites from one, chewing, juice dripping down my chin and neck, and start eating the other one. My breathing becomes intense through my nose. As if I'm a wild dog who finally had gotten food.

          As I eat and eat, the hunger doesn't go away. I drop the apples on the floor and open the fridge. There's hard liquor and something wrapped in paper. I grab that and open it. It's cow meat, a ribeye steak. I try to take a bite but it's too thick. I rip off a piece, the cow's blood dripping down from my lips. My face had gotten sticky from the apples. The meat gets stuck between my teeth, it's ripping apart in strings. This isn't helping.

          On the counter near me, there's a blender. I tear the bone out of the meat and toss it onto the floor. It makes a thud against the floor. I look for more meat from the fridge, but there is none, and rush over to the blender. I throw the meat into the blender, cramming it in there with my hands. Put the lid on and push the button.