unspeakable | jegulus

nothing's gonna change my world

chapter title: across the universe by the beatles

Large, upturned eyes bore into his like moonlight reflecting off of a knife. Regulus Black stood in front of him, the opposite of his brother in every way James could imagine. A stranger in everything save what Sirius told him about his past, his whispered memories in the dark.

"I have a proposition for you, Potter." He could see Remus in the distance, at the farthest end of the corridor, Sirius presumably beside him. That was one path of escape. Just walk away in the direction of his friends and pretend Regulus had never spoken to him.

His fleeting smile was also like a knife. Sharp and pointed, only lifting one corner of his mouth.

"I understand you must be confused. As my brother's closest friend I don't doubt your loyalty to him. I promise my proposition is well-intentioned. There's no reason for you to feel threatened, despite our differences in the past."

He could agree then never follow through, reveal all of it to Sirius in the warm red light of their dorm. He could shout for his friends and stop this conversation in its tracks. He could tell him he wasn't interested before he finished whatever pitch he was planning to give him. This was bizarre. Deeply bizarre.

"I think you'll want to hear me out. I hope I have at least piqued your curiosity." His voice was soft, pleasant. Formal. Like he was presenting an assignment for one of his classes. He was so poised, so perfectly in command of himself, he seemed nearly inhuman. "I would understand if you aren't willing to work with me at all. I don't expect very much from this conversation. To be frank, you haven't expressed an interest in the war efforts against the Dark Lord before, to my knowledge."

Regulus Black was discussing Voldemort's rise to power in the sunlit corridors of Hogwarts as casually as he might discuss a quidditch match. All plans of escape slipped away. James looked at him, subconsciously sizing him up as though they were about to come to blows.

"I'm not joining him, if that's what you're here for." The ice in his voice was beyond his control. He'd never been good at hiding his feelings, or anything else.

Regulus' dark eyebrows lifted.

"I would never expect that of you." His voice was soft, hardly more than a whisper. "I'm not a fool."

"What is this about then? Be quick about it. If Sirius sees us talking..." James grimaced, "I don't even know what he'd do."

Regulus folded his hands together neatly.

"I want to destroy the Dark Lord." He didn't know what his face was doing. He couldn't form a single coherent thought. Destroy the Dark Lord? He opened his mouth, and closed it wordlessly. Regulus smiled again. Amused. "I want to know if you would be willing to help me do it."

"You're sixteen."

"Evidently." Another amused smile. Was this some kind of game? What was he playing at, talking to him about the war, talking to him at all?

"You're a Slytherin, the worst sort. A Death Eater in training, as far as I know." Regulus' expression darkened. "I've seen who your friends are. Is this some kind of joke?"

"I'm not joking."

"Yeah? I don't believe you."

"Do you really think I would ask you about this so casually and at such great personal risk if I wasn't serious?"

"Yeah. I do." James leaned forward, looming over him. Not as much as he used to be able to when they were younger, when Regulus and Sirius would shout at each other in the corridors, a flurry of curses zipping between them like fireworks. Regulus was taller now, but still terribly thin. Small. Fragile. "Get out of my face, Black."