✓ bizarre love triangle ; erwin smith

FOURTEEN

Did I feel terrible?

No. I feel fucking fantastic!

Feeling sick to my stomach as Marie now shed light to reality, my hand found it's way to cup my stomach and I was positively growing green.

"I'll get you a glass of water." Erwin spoke up, stopping his conversation with Marie as his eyes were on me the entire time to observe my movements.

I pursed my lips into a thin line and shook my head.

No, it's going so well. They're actually talking.

"No." I stood up, feeling nauseous. "I'll get it myself. You two catch up and I'll be right back." I took a step forward and nearly staggered from my own chair blocking my foot.

I leaned my weight of Nile to prevent myself from falling.

"Ow!" The dark haired male yelped while his hands instinctively helped to stabilize me, which I was grateful for

"Sorry. How clumsy of me." I excused to let them know I wasn't vulnerable or tipsy before patting Nile's arm and continuing on my journey.

As I got my glass of water, I took a moment to breathe.

I didn't feel as sick as I did before but the emotions crashed against me like a wave as I reminded myself of the current setting.

Of course it affected me when I continously push Erwin towards Marie. I'd be inhumane if it didn't.

I like to believe I was doing what was best for them. What was best for all of us. This was the best-case scenario in whatever feeble plan my mind has organized.

I kept telling myself it was the only way.

Marie would be happy, Erwin can be happy with her, and Nile. . . Well, that makes me a terrible person.

I sucked in a deep breath, shaking my head.

Being with Erwin would only complicate the situation so. Marie would feel betrayed, Erwin would discover the secret behind the letters and he, too, would feel betrayed, Nile would be skeptical of us, and no one would ever socially accept such a taboo union.

This was for the best, I convinced myself.

"Let's get you some fresh air." I feel a hand grab my wrist and tug me towards the main exit, startling me as I stared at the familiar back of the last person I wanted to talk to.

I glanced at our table and saw Nile conversing with Marie, his cheeks tinted.

I allowed myself to be dragged outside before tearing my arm away from his grip, and I could almost discern a flash of hurt cross his face.

He recollected himself quickly, "How long do you plan to avoid me? Don't you think it's about time we talk?"

I shook my head, "We've talked, Erwin. I told you, I can't! Not especially tonight."

"Why not tonight?" He pressed. "Is it because of Marie? Because I've told you, I do not fancy her—"

"That's the problem!" I exclaimed, swallowing thickly before composing myself. "You're supposed to love her." I reasoned before sighing in exasperation, "Look, just go back inside and talk to her."

"I don't want to talk to Marie. I want to talk to you."

"We have nothing to talk about."

Erwin clenched his jaw, "You keep pushing me to her. You want to actively ignore what's happening right now."