Knowing His Wife

𝟑𝟎. 𝐇𝐞𝐫 𝐎𝐮𝐭𝐛𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐭

"They went to the garden along with Maa and Papa" I heard him say.

"Please talk to me, I'm sorry for what you heard last night"

And I lost it. I can deal with my heart breaks and sadness with ease, but I can't deal with my anger.

"Talk to you? What's left to talk about, Aarush? Is there something left? Yeah, giving up my life maybe" I spat bitterly.

"YUVAANI!"

"What Yuvaani? Hm? What-" I angrilly went to him and I closed my fists to calm me down. So that I shouldn't do anything wrong.

"Tell me. Talk to me, we'll sort this out too" I felt him saying. HIs voice held concern but I was too angry to notice it.

"IT'S NOT MEANT TO SORT! IT CAN'T SORT. WHAT WILL YOU SORT? MY HEART? MY LIFE? WHAT THE FUCK WILL YOU SORT?" I held his collar and asked him with rage. I could see he was taken aback seeing this side of mine.

"I'm just so sick of your rejections Aarush, I'm literally sick of everything." I lowered my pitch seeing his reaction.

I couldn't hold it back any longer.

"My parents say ki pati, baccho ko sambhalo, ghar sansar sahi se karo, sab theek hoga. Your family gave me your late wife's saree. Jo indirectly maine jhela, Aarush. In the very start my husband makes it clear not to expect anything from this marriage. He fucking rubs the fact every now and then on my face that he loves his late wife, he can't love me. What about me?"

"WHAT ABOUT ME?? WHERE AM I IN THIS?" I sobbed hard but his gaze clinged on my face with a look of hurt.

"It was always you, your family. I-I-I just don't belong here- I'm just called a 'second wife' accusingly as if it's a crime being that. People accuse me of hurting our kids- oh sorry! They were never mine, right? Everything is just yours. Mai kitna bhi kuch karlu na, my efforts doesn't count. But galti se mere se ek halki si galti ho jaaye, log usko highlight karke mere maathe pe uska tag laga dete hai!"

He stepped closer and gestured to me to come in his arms but I took a step back, instead.

"And you? What YOU did? You didn't help me either. You too scolded me many times, many times that even wasn't my fault!" I fell down as my knees felt weak.

"You broke my dreams Aarush. You really did. I just expected you to be a good husband. And aapne pehle hi clear kar diya tha not to expect something from you like that. You even doubted my friend Sanskar!! Jiski koi galti bhi nhi thi. You accused him of loving me. Are you fucking serious Aarush? We're just friends!! Koi aur mujhe dekhe woh bhi aapko gawara nahi hai, aur aap khud bhi mujhe nahi dekhte. A 29 year unmarried girl- what will she expect? Yehi na, ki uska pati bhi usse pyaar kare. She too wants to be someone's first, but see what a fucking luck my fate has! I can never be someone's first."

He came to me and took me in his tight embrace. I leaned against that warmth but my tears weren't stopping anytime soon.

"Mai kya thi, kya hogyi hu, kya banna chahati thi, aur kya bana diya hai aap logo ne mujhe? Including my parents. You knew I was selfless, that's why you used me for your kids haina? For your family? Right?"

He separated himself from me and looked at me in disbelief "What? Are you out of your mind? The very first day you stepped in this house as a bride, I told you not to do anything for us. I told you that I'll take care of Priyanh and Pihu. And I mentioned that you should continue your job too, when I got to know that you left it. Aur Yuvaani, maine kabhi tumhara fayda nahi uthaya, kisi bhi cheez mein. What I did, or what I am doing for you, is genuine. It's because I care for you '' Aarush said.