The divorce-mare

How it always goes- Chapter 2

If I say that my goosebumps have occupied my whole body, well that won't be a lie. My palms got sweaty and I could once again feel the sweat run down from my face, but this time it was less prominent. Although she was glaring daggers at me I still got the chance to examine her character. Her kohl black hair was in a loose braid that reached to her hips. Now you know where I got my hair from. Her face was a bit fragile as if she hadn't slept for a while. She was wearing a green colored typical Pakistani suit with light green flowers all over the shirt.

"Have you seen the clock" she called out which made me come back to my senses.

"Ye...yes mother I was just coming" I said slowly

There was silence for a while but she was still there. She was still standing under the doorframe with her eyes glued to mine while her face was holding a disgusted expression. Although it had just been some seconds still it felt like years, As if I had been in this position for several years with the same fair radiating from me while the same hatred was being bestowed upon me by her.

She suddenly started marching towards me and I started to back away. What is she going to do? Will my dream come true? Is she going to hit me? Ya Allah please make this stop. I quickly placed my both hands on my each cheek as a sign to protect them. By then she had approached me but she didn't hit me. No, instead of hitting me she took my blanket and started to put me inside it.

"Come on get inside" she shouted while I tried to get away from her.

"Mother what are you doing, let me go please" but by then she had already put me inside the blanket which was completely wrapped around my whole body and face.

"Mother I can't breathe please let me go"

"No you want to be like those British girls right, sleep now, you're going to sleep" she shouted

"Not mother I don't want to please let me go" by now the fresh tears were starting to fall down from my soggy eyes. She continued to wrap the blanket more tightly around me face. Was she going to kill me? No, please ya Allah make this stop I cried out.

The thing I heard next made me realize that my prayer had been answered.

"Aisha what are you doing!" I heard my father shout and at the exact moment I was released from the blanket. But my vision was still blurry. I think I am going to faint. I took hold of my both legs until they reached my chest and then started to rock back and forth while reading silent prayers. It was helping me and I slowly started to come back to my senses.

"Have you gone mad, you were going to kill here? What's wrong with you?" I heard my father scream at my mother and that's when I looked up at their direction. Both had a shocked expression plastered on their faces but the background to it was completely different. I felt the bed sink from my both sides and soon there was two pair of eyes looking at me with full concern.

"Are you okay Aliyah?" asked Ali while Amira just nodded with a sigh for me to say something.

"I am fine" I said and dragged myself off from the bed. I need to wash my face I thought as I pushed myself trough my father and mother to the bathroom. I opened the tap and started to splash water at my face. Meanwhile, there were loud shouts being heard from my room. It was my father for shore. He was always the one to shout at my mother when something like this happened. Yes, it's true every time I woke up late something like this happened. Not exactly like this, she would probably just lock me inside the room for the whole day so the thought of me wanting to be some kind of a British girl would vanish. Not that I want to be a British. I liked my nationality but apparently someone didn't understand that.

I walked out from the bathroom still wearing my night close and walked strait to the kitchen. I can't think about this all the time. It was meant to happen, Alhamdulillah I am alive, that's the thing that matters. I need to make breakfast I thought as I started to chop some onions for some fried eggs. I turned the stove on and started to warm some bread. My father liked the bread when it was heated on a stove.

I suddenly felt a hand on my shoulder while I was taking out the coffee mugs. I flipped and accidently dropped one of those mugs I held. I slowly turned around and it was none other than my mother standing in front of me. But this time, I could see concern in her eyes and even guilt was there somewhere.

"I am sorry dear I didn't mean to hurt you" she said ashamed for what she did. Well there it was, as always. This was almost my daily routine, almost.

"It's okay mother" I sighted because I didn't have the energy to argue with her. It never worked anyways. I turned around and that's when my eyes landed on the broken mug beside my feet. My mother followed my eyes and as soon as she saw the broken mug, fury started to build up in her eyes.

"You can't do anything right can't you" she burst out.

Here we go again I thought as I continued to prepare the breakfast because seriously I was tired. I didn't have that much energy to tell her that she was wrong about want she assumes about me. That she was wrong about how I am as a person. That everything she was doing was so unfair. So I pretended to not even listen and after she had said those daily words such as, you are of no use; I wish you were never born etc., she left.

Likewise so the whole day passed by with me being shrilled because my breakfast wasn't as tasty as yesterday, that I didn't clean the bathroom properly, that I was being very lazy etc. and she even apologized for her bad behavior after very incidence, as always. This summer was going to be hard I thought as I lay down on my bed. Not going to school means full time house work and I am already exhausted. The funny thing about this all is that it has only been a week since summer vacations started.

I am going to start university this upcoming year. My dream is to become a doctor and I have to permission to be one to. But it claims a lot of hard work and I am ready for it. I am going to make my dream true in sha Allah.

I shifted to my right side where the light was glowing from my nightstand. It wasn't that bright but still it made some furniture's visible. I made shore to open my alarm clock for 8:00am so that I won't wake up late tomorrow.

When it this going to change? When will I be able to get away from this routine? It feels like history is always repeating itself and to be honest I am tired, tired because of this. I want to feel free for once, free from all these words, from all these problems. I wonder when I would be able to feel that or if I would ever get the chance to feel that. Maybe I will get the chance to feel so, but not in this house, maybe in my other house with my husband. Maybe he will set me free from all of this. I really hope so and with all these thought I drifted to the darkness filled with dreams thinking that I probably am the only daughter who actually want to leave her parents' house.

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Asalamoalekum!

Well this is the second chapter. I hope you all like it so far. I am really sorry for my gramatic faults. please give me feedback upon what you think about my story or if you want me to change anything. 

Jazakallah for now!