"This is fucking crazy," Cassian muttered, still standing off to the side of the coffee table with the map laid out. Everyone seemed to mirror the statement, even Rhys's flitting eyes always finding their way to Naoise, belaying his own bewilderment.
She couldn't help but sigh. "What a strange definition you have."
They had a shadowsinger, daemati, ancient being, three of the most powerful Illyrians in history, and a discerner of truth within just their inner circle. And yet they still considered her strange, crazy, for abilities not even near that of a daemati. Not to mention that he was also the most powerful High Lord, and Azriel two at once as well.
If anyone was "fucking crazy", it was them.
They seemed to understand as much, and Naoise twitched in surprise when a deep chuckle came from the corner of the room. A corner swathed in shadows.
"You've kept this from us for two months," Rhys said. The overwhelmed, otherworldly expression had dissipated.
"Yes."
"You would've known it unwise."
She nodded.
"Explain."
"Shame," she admitted. The word clogged her airway and held her throat tight in its grasp for a moment, denying her to say much more. But by pure spite, she managed, "It's taken me this long to equate myself to Velaris. There is so much more to this Court."
That dark voice, sending chills down her spine and the slightest quake of her wings, demanded, "Illyria. Hewn City. All others. Have you forsaken them?"
"No."
"Then why the shame?"
Naoise paused. The grip on her neck fell away. "I don't know."
By then, it was inherent from every action.
"That doesn't explain your silence," reminded Rhys.
"It is also in part that I wanted to know what I was doing before questions were asked. I know most of the intricacies of it by now, and now I have those answers."
Mor stepped forward and sought out her gaze, "This..." She paused. "What exactly was this?"
"She claims it's a bargain," Rhysand answered for her. Naoise nodded his way.
"What?" exclaimed Cassian.
Mor's mouth hung open for a brief moment. "But... how? With whom?"
Naoise shrugged. "We've never known for certain, my ancestors and I."
"The Mother," Amren barked with a laugh. "And the Cauldron, too, but that's beside the point. You've been making bargains with the Mother."
Naoise only allowed a smile.
Stunned silence.
Then: "What's fucking crazy now, Cassian?"
Cassian's head whipped to that dark corner and his friend smirked from within whirling shadows. He snarled, "Fuck off."
Azriel shrugged.
Naoise blinked to clear her vision and to settle a pounding darkness from the cage that confined it.
Rhysand cleared his throat. "How does this help again?"
"The heart is an easy thing to track."
Cassian leaned more Azriel's way. "She tracks hearts?"
Azriel shrugged again with a small smile that spoke for him.
"But do you need anything to go off of? Like a hound with a scent?"
YOU ARE READING
A Court of Fate and Failure | Azriel
Fanfiction"What do you know of shame?" "Oh, I know plenty." She fought in the first war, the one that took everything from her, just as it did everyone. 500 years later, she is still fighting in each and every moment. But the day she finds a cause to fight fo...
