A Court of Fate and Failure | Azriel

5: Sealed and Sinister

Rhys was the first to rise from the table, and Naoise rose with him. An ache existed in her bones, much more now than a simple push and pull of the balances within her. She was quick to give a farewell nod to nearly each and every fae with her departure. All but Azriel. All but her mate whose blissfully ignorant emotions whispered to her own. 

She could not find the strength to face him.

"Goodnight," she murmured, eyes jumping from fae to fae.

They bid her the same, and then she was in her room as fast as her feet would carry her, the crack beneath the door shining with insufferable light. She settled on the edge of the bed, her darkness bundled tight in the siphon. Naoise held her head in her hands, eyes pricking uncomfortably as she stared at the ground mussed beneath her socked feet. 

Defeat to fate was something she had always struggled with, but in that moment, her wings sagged to splay across the covers, void of fight. And she felt it all oh so much heavier than ever before, poised on her shoulders. Pushing her spine down with her spirit. She was trapped in an ever-spinning nightmare.

All she could do was sigh.

With it, silence became her treasure. As did the heartbeats pounding away in her chest as hers ached so impossibly much. They reminded her that there was a world outside something as twisted as a mate so similar to her. Both in silence, and in the hard life dealt to them that she suspected he knew just as well. 

That the distance between them as she yearned to know him and build a messy, fucked up life around who she'd just devoted herself to be, was not an enemy to vanquish. She could not defeat this with blood and blade. 

Not this time.

But then she would look out again at the world outside her room through the steady heartbeats of others. Because... all these others, their hearts still emanated contentedness. She focused on a mated couple, deep to the north edge of Velaris. Focused on the warmth of a home and a love for a newborn. The way every emotion fluctuated continuously through their hearts, before leaving all over again. How happiness still waited out there in the world for everyone.

Everyone but the one sworn to give everything she had for them in any moment of need.

As those in the inner circle drew farther away and split into their respective rooms, Naoise listened. Their hearts beat steady and even, unperturbed by her behavior. If they had even noticed anything amiss. Then, she noticed one gaining closer, floating in and out of focus like a flickering ghost, always following at the very corner of her senses. In a show of strength and composure, Naosie managed to lift her wings into their place of power, framing her in dark leather, and sat a little straighter, just as Amren walked in without a sign of warning. Were Naoise anyone else, she never would have seen her coming. The door clicked solidly with a nudge of a hand.

Once more, she found herself pinned under an unyielding stare. But this time, there was no one to protect her from the horrors she could no doubt commit if she only wished. This time, Naoise and Amren were alone. Still, Naoise found she had a difficult time surrendering to something as little as a stare. Even if it held more than that, somehow.

The silence and the pounding of hearts filled her ears. Both yielded to nothing so simple, it seemed. Amren was dressed in the same style as herself, yet her small stature and slender frame, paired with such ice as the expression she wore, matched it as if it were her own skin. She, too, was gorgeous. 

In a terrifying way, of course, promising certain gloom if you were to cross her. But gorgeous nonetheless.

Naoise found herself missing the cool comfort and conformity of her leathers, molded to the shape of her skin. Nothing had ever felt more right. Nothing felt as if it embodied who she'd always been as that. Most of all she missed the level of unwavering confidence they gave her. But nothing could be done about that now, and she had a matter of pressing urgency to deal with.