The Ninja Slayer

Chapter 45: Inner Turmoil

Giyuu was struggling. 

He was tired, confused, and more emotionally drained than normal. 

The reason for his exhaustion was obvious. 

He usually slept during the day so falling asleep at night understandably is messing with has already... altered sleep schedule. 

His previous fainting spell aside. He had enough sleep to function, but probably not enough for his other problem. 

He didn't know what to do with Randy. 

This was probably the first time that Randy had heard truly what demons were capable of, and those were the weaker ones. 

It was difficult sometimes for Giyuu to remember. 

Remember that Randy didn't become a demon slayer the common way. 

Everyone he knew, whether he was close to them or not, had some kind of trauma. 

Most of which involved the loss of someone close to them. 

That was the hardest part of Giyuu grieving process. 

He was a child when he lost his family. 

The closest he had before he met Urokodaki-sensei was a distant family friend who thought he was insane and tried to send him to an asylum. 

That wasn't exactly helpful for his grieving process. 

Then he met Urokodaki-sensei and Sabito and immediately was being taught to kill demons. He and Sabito clicked instantly. They bonded. Sabito helped Tomioka Giyuu grieve, as much as a 13-year-old could. 

And as much as he cared about Urokodaki-sensei, the man isn't what one would call 'emotionally sensitive.' So, when Sabito died Giyuu was left alone as Urokodaki grieved as well. 

Then the Nomicon told him that emotional ties would hold him back... 

...and he foolishly believed it. 

He locked away his emotions and isolated himself from anyone and everyone.

 So when he once, once brought up his emotional turmoil to Tanjiro briefly in a fit of unexpected rage, he had doubts of what he was doing. 

He consulted the Nomicon once again, but it just gave him the same answer as all those years ago. 

Friendship is a weight the ninja cannot carry. 

He didn't know what he expected. 

Giyuu guessed that this, all his trauma and lack of emotional connections, are what has led him here.