My wattpad diary

i had my first college interview today and here are the details

17.01.2024

as the title says, i had my very first college interview today. and it was awkward as fuck

but before i get into all that lets rewind an hour to my actual journey there because it was way too long

🔙🔙✨REWIND✨🔙🔙

so the college i applied for is literally like an hour away from me BY BUS. and at first i thought it wouldnt be too bad because ive been to that area a few times before and the journey never seemed long

but oh how wrong was i

stupid me didnt consider the fact that id be going by bus instead of by car (like all the times i did in the past) so thats what made the journey a million times longer

first of all, i was going through 5 different areas by bus just to get to the college, not to mention that it was one bus ride. so i was sat in the same seat for 50 minutes straight and after 10 minutes i started to get really hyperactive cause thats just what happens when i sit in one place for too long and there was a lot of people on the bus as well and they were all staring at me while i repeatedly bounced my leg and tapped the window

it was so embarrassing

then at some point my stupid fucking brain thought it would be fun to spam press the bell and after the seventh time people were getting so pissed cause it was really loud

luckily the sheer embarrassment got to me and i stopped whatever the fuck i thought was enjoyable

but then once i did stop i was panicking like shit because i realised that i hadnt prepared for the interview at all so i was quickly trying to brainstorm questions the interviewer would ask me and how i could answer them but then there was the question of "tell me about yourself"

like, what the fuck am i supposed to say to that?? "oh im a gay mentally fucked up trans kid whos obsessed with 5 men who dont know of my existence." yeah no chance i was saying that. but then if i dont i have basically nothing else to say about myself. so i was literally having an existential crisis on the bus for at least half an hour over that

oh i forgot to mention that my dad was with me as well. not that i wanted him to be but apparently "by law" he had to be. which is absolute bullshit because im literally 15 i can go places by myself. and having him there made it even worse because he just wouldnt shut up and all while i was being (inconveniently) hyperactive he kept hitting me to tell me to cut it out but for some odd reason the pain made me laugh?? so i was literally in a fit of hysterics for the longest time

🔙🔙✨END OF REWIND✨🔙🔙

after i got off the bus, it was a 5 minute walk to the college

except no it wasnt because my dad purposely kept getting us lost 

basically we were using google maps right, and it was literally telling us to go in a straight line but the stupid fucking bastard i call a dad legitimately walked us in the gayest line known to mankind. i swear we walked everywhere but where we needed to

anyway, about 15 minutes later we finally arrived and the lady at reception was being such a little cunt. basically she was giving everyone who was here for the interviews visitor stickers but when i asked for one she was all like "nO i DoNt ThInK yoU cAn HAvE oNe. ThEsE aRe OnLy FoR ThOsE wHo ArE hErE fOr ThE cOuRsE iNtErViEwS" 

so when i explained that i was here for an interview she literally told me to get out. but obviously i ignored her and went straight through anyway and i know she was pissed about that. oh well. who is she to deprive me of one of the most important moments of my life??

anyway, after that i had to go sit in an area where literally 1000 people were waiting for their interviews. and it was so awkward because almost everyone was already here meaning all the seats had been taken so i had to sit with some girl and her family and i could literally feel the silent judgement 

10 minutes later some lady walked in and started calling out course names and anyone who was here for that course had to follow her to the specific interview room. and after what felt like years of waiting, my course name was finally called out

✨level 3 certificate in understanding mental health and well being✨

and weirdly i had to go all the way to the 7th floor for my interview. and my dad had to be there as well and i wanted to disappear so bad because i just wanted to be alone in there

but to my surprise, only 2 other people came in

so it was me, this girl whos name i cant pronounce for the life of me and this guy called charlie

guys not gonna lie, charlie is so fit

literally i was getting major gender envy off this guy

and also he was wearing the same fingerless gloves as me

so i mentally named him my gloves buddy 

god knows if ill ever have the courage to tell him that to his face

anyway the lady who teaches the course was being such a total simp for charlie. literally it was unbelievable. when he walked in (5 minutes late) she was all like 

"oh hi charlie" *blushes intensely* "your a bit late but its fine" *stares at her register* "yep your on my register, take a seat over there" *creepily watches him sit down* *continues to simp over him while he asks a question*

honestly it was so ridiculous. THE BOY IS 16 FOR FUCK SAKE. poor charlie man. he must of been so uncomfortable. she was literally throwing herself at him as well. and when she was explaining what we had to do when we had to fill out a sheet she only explained it to him while being right next to him at his desk and her face looked identical to a goddamn tomato

and when she was done completely and utterly simping over charlie, she just stood there in front of us doing nothing. then after a years worth of silence she asked if anyone had questions but no one did so for the next half an hour we all sat in awkward uncomfortable silence while we filled out these application forms

luckily enough when we was done we was allowed to go so i just rushed mine and almost ran out of there

if this is gonna be my new class im literally gonna cry. other than me theres 2 people and they probably dont like me and the teachers a total simp and im also gonna have to resit my maths gcses because im so failing them. not out of choice. im just genuinely shit at maths. and im low key scared i wont get accepted into the college because of my bad maths grades. like, im not even working at a grade 1 yet. and somehow they expect me to get a 4

within the next week they said they'll get back to me so fucking pray guys because lord knows i need it