Warning: Viewers discretion is advised. The following content includes, alcohol and drug use, foul language, suicidal references and blood. So, if your triggered or offended easily then go find something else to read.
Autophobia-Monophobia⬗ The fear...
Then, then you had ones like Faye's. Maddie made a speech embarrassing the fuck outta me. Bringing up a few memories of where I'd made a fool of myself talking about Ash. In case you're wondering, Maddie and I had gotten moderately closer too. Hanging out so much with Lexi, I usually ended up hanging out with others too. Some from school, like Maddie, obviously Cassie. And some new ones too, okay ones a coworker of her's. But still! Oh, and as for Cassie and Maddie, they do talk. It was a long time that they didn't, at least a year of just seeing and sending each other pitiful, resentful, regretful or puppy dog looks. The trust they once had isn't like what it used to, their friendship, isn't what it used it be.. but they talk. They've not so much forgiven but moved on from what's happen.
It was fun, listening to what they all had to say. To hear what they remembered, what they thought of us, what they hoped for us.. For some of us, it's been a while since any of us last saw each other, old friends, distant family members. Even the ones I see almost everyday though, today was different, having them all here. Guess getting married was a great excuse to get everyone together..
"It's my turn!" My eyes bugged as I tried to hold my smile. Jules stood up excitedly from her seat, all too thrilled.
"How about cake?" I tried redirecting, and although cake grabbed some of their attention, most were excited to hear what Jules had to say. Who better to recall embarrassing or heartfelt memories than a sibling? Only, they didn't know Jules like I do, nor do they know her declaration of embarrassment from earlier.
She stands there, long silence as I can hear her internal taunt as everyone goes quiet to listen to her. I see my father make a face, sitting on edge as he anticipated his daughters next move. Fezco, Ashtray and the others leaned in, begging for the most embarrassing tales to be told.
And so she did. From the time we got in the make up and instead of becoming runway models, we looked like the next circus act. The time we were playing at the beach by our grandmothers, and the seagulls started chasing us around because I wouldn't just let go of my ice cream.
Almost every memory she told she told to embarrass the both of us, rather it was because it was something one of us did or both that resulted in our humorous misfortune.
"There was this one time, though. She embarrassed herself allllll on her own. In the cutest way possible though, really. You shoulda seen her, the way she was giggling and blushin' and whatnot." Jules paused for a moment, a small sense of sadness washing over her.
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"Ashtray had a gift none of us had, to make Marina truly happy.. Even by phone call, even while she was dealing with so much all at once, or what she was about too face, Ashtray never failed to put a smile on her face.." My mind played back on the memories as she continues telling everyone, my smile, giddy form on the bed. Rolling and fidgeting mindlessly as I tuned out the world. All that mattered was the conversation with Ashtray, the feel of spending Christmas with Ash over the phone because I thought they would get sick of me.. The way I fought my sister to get out of my room just so I could get all giddy and spend Christmas on the phone with him. There have been a lot of times I felt at peace when with Ashtray, and my mind almost always goes to that memory first.
