Warning: Viewers discretion is advised. The following content includes, alcohol and drug use, foul language, suicidal references and blood. So, if your triggered or offended easily then go find something else to read.
Autophobia-Monophobia⬗ The fear...
I sat on the counter of the register. Fezco leaning back into the chair that was in front of register, Ash was somewhere out back. Ash was out front talking with us for a bit, mainly about business last night, before he went out back, to do business. I swear its always business with that boy.
So Fezco and I did what we usually do when we're together, talk and goof off. I love Fez, honestly, he's so fun and chill to be with. Literally not a person more chill than Fezco.
"Say Fezco.. I've been wondering.. what was that weird mind trip pill Rue got from y'all?" I asked, a while after it had gone silent. Previously we had talked a bit about me at the carnival, why I was panicking and shit. I mean he knows I can get shy, but he didn't quite know how bad my anxiety can get. I didn't tell him the other contributing factors though, like Jules going to meet up with someone and was worried about that, on top of finding out the last guy she fucked ended up being Nate's father. Sorry but it was a bit to process, while suddenly being separated from them in a sea of people.
"I mean, we have a bunch of weird mind trip pills, bruh." I laughed out, seeing his point, trying to think of a new way to explain it.
"I don't.. I mean it was just like.." I looked off, gesturing to a.. something.. seeing it, but not being able to explain. It was like I could see what I was feeling but just couldn't explain it.
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"It made everything, like.. better, and everything was just.. pretty and safe." I almost got lost for a second, trying to look away from the feeling I was picturing back over to Fezco. I was oblivious to the slightly sad look in his eyes, him trying to think of an answer.
"I uh.. I mean, I don't- I don't really think.. that's something you should be like, fuckin' with, kid." He talked slow, slower than usual. I chuckled out some, waving it off some.
"I was fine last time I took it.. I threw up the next morning but.. honestly that was my fault." I laughed out, almost nervous as I recalled thinking myself sick. Still oblivious to the worried felt by Fezco.
"Yeah- No I get that, but like, I don't.. I rather you not.. do that." I chuckled incredulous, looking at him for a second.
"Wait, what? Wait, like, really?" I asked, almost thinking he was fucking with me. He slowly nodded, as if thinking about it, only nodding more.
"Yeah, I'm dead ass. I don't want you fuckin' with that shit." I looked at him a long moment, the smile slow to leave.
"Why can't I- What? Really? You literally just smoked pot with me last night." He shook his head, rubbing his head some, almost stressed.
"Pot ain't shit, man. But I've seen some.. some good kids go down because' a this shit, kid. I can't.. I don't want you going down too 'cause of it." I smiled sadly to him some, getting off the counter to hug him.
"You don't have to worry Fezco, it's not something I'd make a habit of doing anyways." He stayed silent, hugging me back some.
"Yo, whattup?" I pulled away from Fezco some, looking back to see Jules and Rue walking in hand and hand. Jules looked from me to Fezco, a small smile, while Rue nodded her greetings.
