Getting The Guy

Chapter 14: What Do You Mean?

"Mom, look. I did Mindi's makeup!"

Mom stormed into the room angrily. 

She was about to scold me. But one look at the doll sent her into a laughing fit.

She took the doll, still laughing. 

"This is so beautiful Vannessa. It looks like your coloring book," she said. 

"Good job."

I squealed with excitement.

I now know that she was being sarcastic. 

She adored my outfit and pinched my cheeks. And instead of punishing me, she dressed up in one of her fancy gowns and we both acted like we were in a fashion show.

We laughed a lot and danced like we were crazy. Twirling, modeling and trying on jewelry until eventually we had to clean the room.

Not without Wilma's help though. 

She had laughed at our silliness and even chose some outfits for us to try on. Making comments here and there. 

End Of Flashback 

My mom and I loved to dress up. 

We would always dress up and go out.

I had grown to love dressing up.

But obviously all that changed when I grew older.

Changing how I dressed really impacted my mental health. 

I feel strange. 

It feels strange yet so familiar. 

Strange because I had completely let myself go. And familiar because I used to love doing these things with my best friend.

My role model.

My mom.

My mouth twists into a frown.

Good job Vannessa. Thanks for ruining your mood.

I really wish I could forget that memory.

I picked out black ripped jeans and a cherry red blouse with a printed lip emoji on the front along with a light purple knee-length dress.

Taking a deep breath, I close my eyes and breathe out.

I repeat the process a couple of times.

I have perfected the act of pushing the unwanted memories to the back of my mind. 

When my mood picks up again, I tidy my room and head to the bathroom to freshen up.

Hurrying before it gets late.

***_***_***_***

I had no idea how I was going to convince Dontae to skip today's lesson but I was going to at least try.

It is 10:00 am now.

Today when I looked through Dontae's window, his curtains were wide open. 

I didn't see him but I now know that he must be home.

My white sneakers squeak against Dontae's porch floor.

After ringing the doorbell, I waited for someone to answer. 

I mentally prepare what I'm going to say to Dontae.

'Hey Dontae. Long time no see.'

I cringe at myself.