i love you. i wish id said it back every time you said you loved me today. you must think im a heartless woman for treating you this way, for being upset and for being mad at you all the time. why do i withhold so much love from you? when all you do, is give give give you're a man, beyond selfless, so much to the point you become something i don't even have a word for. you're a man so full of love, for everything around you. of course, you'd never admit it would you? but trust me when i say this baby, it's so loving when you make time to ride your bicycle with your younger brother, when you dont mind lending your things to him, when you tell me you'd love to have plants in our future apartment some day too, when you apologise for your mistakes and promise to never repeat them, when you wipe my plate before we eat every time we're at a restaurant, when you let me wipe cream away from your face with my sleeve, when you ask me to lend you my jacket, when you lend me your blazer, when you pat my cheek when i rest it on your shoulder and when you tell me you love me even though i don't say it back. it was a good day today,
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i noted down everything i wanted to tell you :) after my maths class, i realised im actually way too horrible at this. i dont know if i'll ever get better. i dont know if i can score 95% ish in boards. i dont know. no one was home, except chachu (hes doing work from home and stuff) and i sat beside him, but far enough on the bed that he couldn't touch me. i dont know why. i started bawling, he probably wouldnt understand though, hes an engineer, good at maths and stuff. idk. he just sat silently, unsure of how to comfort me, it was sad. he has a younger daughter, would he ever really know what to do if she cries in front of him sometime in the future? when i got back from my science tution, my mother was picking me up. i dreadfully walked upto her vehicle and sat. she apologised to me, it means nothing. she asked me if i'd cried earlier before class. i said nothing. i'm so glad you called up at just the right moment. i love you.
macd does suck, but our macd date was certainly the best date ever :)
you're a good man. you just cant handle your emotions sometimes. and you do stupid shit. that's something you need to work on. im sure you will. im sure i'll get to address it in the future soon enough. i love you so much.
it really hurt when you told me you were checking your phone every hour to see if i had texted, i cant imagine what mustve been going through your mind. i love you. im sorry.
being mad at u never even feels like its worth it. never ever. i love you. im sorry. i get all cranky and i start needing you and feel really stupid. i love you, why are you so annoying? why do you make me feel so many things all at once?
and lastly, i'm sorry for not letting you call up iru earlier. i'm so sorry. i wanted to be salty because i couldnt call yuvi on his birthday and i was hurt you were approaching bishta and being all besties w her saamne se. i get extremely jealous, its a bad habit. i cried when you sent in that voice note. like damn, you're willing to go that far for someone you've never even met? how are you so perfect? and you want to buy her a gift? i'm putting a ring on u so fucking quick tu dekh bas ‼️
i love you so much. i SHOULD STUDY NOW LMFAO 🕯️95%+ for both of us🕯️ signing off
