Ice Cold

45

I shook my head at him with a small smile forming on my lips.

"You don't even like to read," I reminded him.

"I do now, sort of," he said, moving his hands up and down on me. "I would like it if it was written by you."

"You don't have to flatter me," I said. "I'll get you off if you just ask."

Landon scoffed and shoved me away lightly.

"Do you have to be so crude?"

I feigned surprise. "When did you learn that word?"

Landon rolled his eyes at me and went over to his closet to change his clothes. He threw what he was previously wearing into the hamper and grabbed the hamper after changing into something else.

"I'm going to throw this laundry in," he told me as he went to the door.

"I put some of my things in there as well," I said, grinning at his look of fake annoyance.

When Landon left the room, I looked back at my closed laptop. I didn't know if I'd let anyone read my work, let alone Landon. While the ultimate goal was to get my work published, I didn't even know if that was a possibility or if I would even use my own name to publish it or use a pseudonym.

What I was writing was fiction, but it was semi-autobiographical. I was one of the characters. Not by name, but I wrote myself into him without really realizing it at first. And I had gotten too far along before I did realize it. We shared a personality, experiences, mannerisms, thoughts, insecurities, fears. So what was originally supposed to be a sort of campus novel, a satirical yet dark look into life in academia and the university as an institution, turned deeply personal.

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to put it out as an anonymous person and let others read it without really knowing me. But to let Landon read my work would be a different story.

Landon came back into the room a few moments later and the two of us got into bed together.

"I think I'm going to go to Livi's skating competition," Landon said as he raked his hand through my hair, my head on his chest. "Alone."

I picked my head up and looked at him with an incredulous expression.

"I'll go with you," I offered, not liking the idea of him going there alone, of the possibility of him running into his parents while he was by himself.

The two of us had talked about it briefly after Livi initially asked him to go, agreeing that it would be risky, but that was all that was said. How he went from apprehension to going alone was beyond me.

"I don't want you to have to see my dad if I end up running into him," Landon explained.

I sat up more. "That's exactly why I should be there. In case you see him."

I didn't like that he was trying to push me out and keep me on the sidelines when I should be by his side. Landon didn't tell me much about his father, but I knew enough that seeing him would be bad for Landon emotionally, mentally, maybe even physically.

"I don't want that though, Wren," Landon argued. "I don't want you to see him. I don't want him to even look at you!"

"It is entirely out of the question that I let you go on your own," I said, sitting up straighter so Landon was no longer touching me. "So let's not even argue about it."

I knew my words would only irritate him. It seemed that even if I was trying to diffuse a situation, I had a way of making him angry. Maybe it was my tone or just the way I said things. Or maybe he was just always ready to be defensive.