To the Sun, To the Stars, To the Sky

19: Back to Stone

He frowned. "The sun is a star."

I clenched the leaf in my fist subconsciously. "Yes, but I just feel like...like, why stars?"

He smiled and took my hands, leaf and all, and kissed my nose. "Well, then, to the sun, to the stars, and to the sky."

I laughed quietly. "Of course it sounds pretty when you say it."

His smile brightened. He turned and walked a few feet off the beaten path to a flowering tree. He picked a delicate pink bloom off and brought it back to me. He tucked it into my shirt pocket. I reached up to help him, and our fingers brushed.

God, I love this man.

We heard someone calling that dinner was starting so we turned back around and went back through the path of beaten-back brush, laughing. I tripped on a root, and he caught me before laughing this time, opposed to how he had only laughed that day when we went to the river. Typical.

We arrived at the clearing and our laughter died down again when we saw the somber faces, but our grins remained. We made our way to the area Reyna had designated the eating spot, and where she was speaking to the people around her. Everyone was sitting in a grim sort of picnic so we joined them, noticing Reyna and Thalia had saved us seats near them.

Nico sat directly across from Reyna. His expression turned serious as they began discussing battle plans.

"I don't understand why we don't go through the soldiers' quarters," he said. "If we could steal suits, then wouldn't that be⁠—"

"No, why would we enter the living quarters of a bunch of people who are trained to want to kill us?"

"Reyna, I was a soldier like that and I think I've made it very obvious I don't want to kill you."

She made an irritated face. "Yes, and that's great, but we've had weeks with you. It's almost been a month since we found you; these people will be meeting us for the first time when we march in, and their lives will be in danger if they join us."

"All of our lives are in danger, Reyna. That's kind of the point. But if we recruit them⁠—"

She grit her teeth. "Nico. We're not recruiting anyone. We don't have the time, and it's not safe."

He made a face. "So you'll condemn them by leaving them there instead? You're just going to let them be killed and tortured like they were before? I thought this rebellion was supposed to save people, Reyna."

She was glaring daggers. The table had gone silent. "We're saving lives just by having this rebellion, but it's complicated and⁠—"

"You say that, but you're leaving these soldiers for dead!" he accused.

The slap rang out across the entire group. Silence. No one moved a muscle.

Reyna's eyes were wide. "Nico, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to...." She trailed off when he didn't respond.

I was afraid to touch him, afraid he might crumble if I did. His expression was completely blank, looking at the floor. A handprint was beginning to appear on his cheek. My heart was going a mile a minute.

"I apologize for overstepping my mere third rank in order to argue with you, Ma'am. I should not have, and any punishment you or others choose would be just," he apologized robotically. I looked at Thalia, shocked. It was the same line he'd said to her weeks ago. One he must've memorized.

Oh no. We're backtracking. He's going back into the soldier mode we'd worked so hard to get him out of.

Reyna's eyes went to the grass, too. "Nico, you didn't overstep anything. God, I'm so sorry."

Nico's chest rose and fell irregularly. "Your majesty, permission to leave the meal early?"

I choked out a yes, and Nico was up in a heartbeat to leave. His back was perfectly straight. His steps were the exact length he'd been told to take. His eyes did not meet anyone else's. He was a soldier.

I shot up to follow him and no one stopped me. No one moved.

I found him standing in a clearing in the woods. Not attacking the tree with his knife, like he had last time I'd found him like this. He was just standing, staring at nothing. Hand on cheek.

He knelt when he heard my footsteps.

I sat next to him. "You can break form, Nico."

He did, slowly. Hesitantly.

"Are you okay?" I asked gently. His eyes were seeing things I was not. Thrown back into memories. I tried to take his hand, but he flinched so I let go.

He didn't say anything. Didn't seem to hear me. I asked again, and this time he looked at me, fear in his eyes though his face was blank. "It's happening. The poison is catching up. Right now."

Word count: 1463