Chapter 1

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"Ugh" I swat at the alarm as it blared through my apartment. Today is the day I've been anticipating and dreading at the same time.

"Today's the day, Dad" you can laugh all you want but I spend my mornings talking to my father. Four years ago was the day I knew that I wanted to be a police officer, I wanted to make my father proud.

It was the day I grew up, took on more responsibility for my little brothers and sister, my father's death nearly destroying my mother.

As if on cue, I can hear my mothers ringtone "hey ma, what's up?" She is trying to hide the fear in her voice.

"I just wanted to wish you well on your first day baby, listen to Uncle Jay and Uncle Kevin, please"

"Of course Mom, you know I will, I will stop by when I get off, take Adam and Liam off your hands for a little bit" I can hear the exhaustion in her voice Adam still fighting her on everything.

"Your dad is smiling down on you today, Sean I'm proud of you"

"I gotta get ready Mom, I love you and I will see you soon" I end the call, I can't stand it when she cries, and I knew it was coming.

Some days it's like I can hear his voice guiding me to make the right choice, it's going to be hard walking in the 21st.

Grabbing my keys, I need to make a stop before heading in.

The Ivory tower had been rebuilt years ago, they added a memorial to all those killed in the line of duty. My dad and uncle Sean's names etched on the wall.

I rub my fingers over his name 'Adam Michael Ruzek' still after four years seeing the date of his death is like getting kicked in the junk. I find my uncle's 'Sean Edward Roman'.

The air feels unusually still, the butterfly lands on the bench beside me, my mom always told Dani when a butterfly was near it meant our dad was with us, I would like to think that's the case today.

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